Fall Season 2008 (anticipation)

Today I am going to rate all the new fall primetime network television shows in order of most eagerly anticipated to least anticipated. I apologize for not doing it backwards (David Letterman style) but if that really bothers you, I highly encourage you to scroll down to the bottom and work your way up. Just don't accidentally glance at number one down there just a couple of lines away. (Oops! You looked! Bummer deal.)

1: My Own Worst Enemy
While the premise of this show is very interesting, the inclusion of Christian Slater as Edward/Henry is what really gave it gravitas in my mind. And when I heard that it would also feature Mädchen Amick (one of my beloved Twin Peaks Girls), I was more then intrigued. But what put it solidly at the very top of my list was the discovery that it sprung from the mind of Jason Smilovic, creator of such great shows as Kidnapped and Karen Sisco.

#2: Fringe
J.J. Abrams created Alias. J.J. Abrams co-created Lost. He is a genius to many a fanboy. So it comes as no surprise that his newest television creation is high on my anticipation list. However, it barely misses the top spot. This is simply because the same shroud of secrecy that amps up the frenetic anticipation also results in some concern that the overwhelming buzz of this show may not be able to live up to its own expectations. (Especially since J.J. Abrams will be so busy with his Star Trek movie that he will not be able to oversee the day-to-day operations of this series.) Nonetheless, I am still very, very excited.

#3: Life On Mars
Much like the late lamented Journeyman, this show has a main character who is inexplicably sent back in time. Which is very favourable because I love time travel stories! Plus it has a plethora of famous actors. (Harvey Keitel, Michael Imperioli, Gretchen Mol, Lisa Bonet, and Colm Meaney) Admittedly, that doesn't guarantee the show will be good, but it does draw extra attention. So consider my attention drawn.

#4: The Ex-List
I think the reason I like the concept of this show so much is that it addresses the concept of "the road less traveled," similar to the movie Sliding Doors (though admittedly from a completely different perspective). However, I don't like the caveat that if she doesn't find her soul-mate in a year's time, she will be lonely forever. I think it implies that it is impossible for someone to be truly happy with their second best match in the whole world. (Or third best match, or fourth best...) Another concern of mine is simply that it is being partnered with Ghost Whisperer, which implies that it may be a little too female-friendly of a program (which ruined last season's Women's Murder Club). But if they can keep the estrogen down, I'll be interested in watching how it plays out.

#5: 90210
This update (not a remake, but rather a revisit) of the immensely popular Beverly Hills 90210 is being promoted for the Gossip Girl crowd. However, its title is clearly aimed at pulling in nostalgic older viewers. And since I was a solid Beverly Hills 90210 fan back in the day (imagine a group of teenage boys excitedly chatting away about the exploits of Brandon, Brenda, Kelly, Dylan, Steve, David, & Donna), I am certainly intrigued as to how they are going to make both older and younger viewers happy.

#6: Crusoe
Just like in real life, it all comes down to pirates. Daniel Defoe's book is being produced for television to be more reminiscent of the Pirates Of The Caribbean series. So while the premise remains generally the same, it will feature pirates and cannibals sooner and more predominantly. (Perhaps during Sweeps Week there will even be cannibal pirates!) Also look for Friday to show up much earlier as well. And although I am dubious of all the MacGuyverized inventions (yes, there is an elevator), I shan't mutiny prior to first viewing.

#7: Eleventh Hour
Every time I see or hear anything about this show, I can't help but think that it comes off as being a less supernatural version of X-Files, though I'm not entirely sure if that is an intentional parallel. Regardless, the fact that I perceive the similarity actually makes me more optimistic than I would otherwise be. Another bonus is that the female bodyguard is played by Marley Shelton, who recently grabbed my attention with her portrayal of Dr. Dakota Block in Grindhouse. Yum!

#8: Do Not Disturb
This is my most anticipated comedy of the new season. But the fact that my most anticipated comedy ranks down at number eight does not bode well for comedies in general this year. Specifically, this show rises to the upper middle solely because it is directed by Jason Bateman and features Jerry O'Connell. <http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/3f716ffebe> Unfortunately, it doesn't go any higher because its premise sounds extremely uninspired.

#9: Hole In The Wall
Okay, I am officially intrigued. This show – about contestants who try to contort their bodies in the same shape as an oncoming styrofoam wall in order to earn points and not get swept into a pool of water – looks utterly bizarre in the best possible way. I'm not sure if it will have long-lasting appeal, but I can't imagine not checking it out. It is severely weird!

#10: Gary Unmarried
This is another comedy that suffers from genericitis. The fact that it includes the talents of both Jay Mohr and Paula Marshall certainly raises my hopes for the show, but until I see how things actually play out, it's difficult to be excited.

#11: Valentine
As a kid, I always liked Greek mythology. Lucky for me, this show is about gods from Greek mythology. True, it's about Greek gods running around making love matches, which seems incredibly cheesy and lame, but it still manages to tap into my curiosity. How will Poseidon be depicted? How about Ares? Will the Minotaur show up with flowers and a box of chocolates? I have a feeling that how much I enjoy the show will ultimately be determined by how well they incorporate Greek mythology.

#12: America's Toughest Jobs
When I first heard of this show, I misunderstood the premise and thought that it was a documentary reality show, similar to In Harm's Way. Instead, it appears to be a reality game show where contestants must compete by working in various dangerous professions, such as bull fighting and working on a bridge crew. How will ordinary people do in these high-pressure, high-risk jobs? I'm a little interested in finding out.

#13: The Mentalist
You may have thought that this show – being very similar-sounding to the incredibly funny Psych – would rank higher on my expectation list than unlucky thirteen. And it would have if I had not learned about an extra layer to the show: Patrick Jane is emotionally haunted because, back when we was hunting criminals as a (fake) psychic, his family was murdered by a serial killer he had been tracking at the time. I literally groaned out loud when I discovered this "twist" because it is such a played out plot point. True, they pulled it off exceptionally well in The Profiler, but it is usually a desperate device used to artificially increase the intensity of a show.

#14: Opportunity Knocks
It's a gameshow that comes to you. Really, that's pretty much the entire the hook. Yeah, its questions are based on the lives of contestants, but viewers don't truly care about the lives of others unless they are exciting. In fact, over time I imagine that the show will probably start emphasizing how interesting the contestants are. (It's the biker family! It's the spy family! It's the witness protection program family!) So although I'm intrigued by the gimmick, they're going to have to work very hard to keep me invested.

#15: Surviving Suburbia
This looks absolutely abysmal. It has got to be the worst comedy this year by a long shot. So why is it this high on the list? Because when I saw Bob Saget talking about his own starring vehicle, he came across like even he knew how dreadful it was. So I'm going to be checking it out and eagerly scrutinizing Mr. Saget for signs of subtle mockery for the very show that I am watching.

#16: Stylista
In essence, this show is The Devil Wears Prada meets The Apprentice. The tone seems so negative and venomous that I simply cannot imagine enjoying it. But one never knows. I wasn't expecting to be a fan of Project Runway either (which I was for three seasons), so perhaps it will surprise me. But boy does it have an uphill battle ahead of it.

#17: Kath & Kim
Professionally speaking, I have never liked Molly Shannon. She is just so darn *SHRILL*. Because of this one fact, the more I thought of this looming show, the less I looked forward to it. In fact, the only reason that this isn't nearer/at the bottom is the fact that it also stars Selma Blair, who I truly do like. Unfortunately, her character sounds reprehensible. Hence, I feel like I am going to the gallows on this one.

#18: Worst Week
Meet The Parents was an enjoyable, if somewhat forgettable movie. (Although I admit that it had its moments.) What it did not need was a sequel. Sadly, that is exactly what it got. And it was dreadful. And now it seems that it has also spawned an (unofficial) television series. So if Ben Stiller couldn't pull off another go-around, who is Kyle Bornheimer to think that he can succeed where Derek Zoolander failed?

#19: Privileged
Many viewers want to watch spoiled über-rich brats act extremely spoiley. I am not one of them. The world of the bitchy and powerful does not appeal to me, unless they end up twitching on the end of a katana. Nonetheless, I will soldier on and suffer through the chaos. Truly, I do this for you, dear reader. Even *I* am not that anal-retentive!

#20: In Harm's Way
What is less exciting than a horrid, self-absorbed dramatic television show about stuck-up rich kids? How about a *boring* television show? That is what I fear this show will be. Yes, bicycle messengers may get run over each and every day. But I don't want to see bicycle messengers get almost (or actually) run over. Maybe host Hunter Ellis (from Survivor) can raise the interest level. And then again, maybe not.

#21: Easy Money
The only thing that could be worse than a dreadful show or a boring show is a show that looks to be both boring and dreadful. The only glimmer that I could eke out is the fact that Laurie Metcalf is in this series. But rather than being hopeful about that fact, it just makes me sad that she has somehow wound up on the very worst show of a struggling little network. It would surprise no one more than me if I actually watched even one episode of this series. Truly, it just looks like dreck.

#22: Knight Rider
Surely this show cannot be at the bottom of this list! It's got a cool transformable car, an attractive cast, and a bit of 80s nostalgia to boot. That can't be all bad, can it? In truth, the answer is... no, I don't think it will be the worst show of the season. In actuality, this show lands at the bottom of my anticipation list more on a technicality than anything else. Simply put, I have already seen the show (in the form of the made-for-television movie/backdoor pilot which already aired in February of this year) so I have literally no anticipation. (And by the way, the movie was not at all good.)

And now you know everything you wanted to know about all of the new fall primetime network television shows. Next time I will be reviewing actual episodes of some of these shows, as they are finally starting to trickle out.

Cheers!

-TTVB-