As promised, here is the Fall premiere schedule:
Already On
America's Toughest Jobs (premiered August 25th)
Deal or No Deal (premiered August 25th)
Dateline NBC (premiered in 1903)
September 1st
Gossip Girl
One Tree Hill
Prison Break
September 2nd
90210
September 3rd
America's Next Top Model
Bones
September 4th
Kitchen Nightmares
September 5th
Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?
September 6th
America's Most Wanted
COPS
September 8th
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
September 9th
Fringe
Privileged
September 10th
Do Not Disturb
'Til Death
September 11th
Hole in the Wall*
September 12th
Don't Forget the Lyrics
September 16th
House
The Biggest Loser
September 18th
Smallville
Supernatural
September 19th
20/20
September 21st
Easy Money
In Harm's Way
Valentine
September 22nd
Boston Legal
CSI: Miami
Dancing with the Stars
Heroes
How I Met Your Mother
The Big Bang Theory
Two and a Half Men
Worst Week
September 23rd
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
NCIS
Opportunity Knocks
The Mentalist
Without a Trace
September 24th
Criminal Minds
CSI: NY
Gary Unmarried
Knight Rider
Lipstick Jungle
The New Adventures of Old Christine
September 25th
ER
Grey's Anatomy
My Name Is Earl
Survivor: Gabon
The Office
Ugly Betty
September 27th
48 Hours Mystery
September 28th
60 Minutes
American Dad!
Brothers & Sisters
Cold Case
Desperate Housewives
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
Family Guy
King of the Hill
The Amazing Race
The Simpsons
The Unit
September 29th
Chuck
October 1st
Dirty Sexy Money
Private Practice
Pushing Daisies
October 3rd
Everybody Hates Chris
Ghost Whisperer
Life
Numb3rs
Supernanny
The Ex-List
The Game
Wife Swap
October 5th
America's Funniest Home Videos
October 6th
Samantha Who?
October 9th
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Eleventh Hour
Kath & Kim
Life On Mars
October 13th
My Own Worst Enemy
October 14th
Eli Stone
October 17th
Crusoe
October 22nd
Stylista
October 30th
30 Rock
November 7th
Surviving Suburbia
*An unnounced new show! It is another gameshow stolen from the Japanese, with contestants that basically use their bodies as human Tetris pieces.
-TTVB-
28 August 2008
27 August 2008
2008 Upfronts (part seven)
Since the new television season is right around the corner, this will be my last official "2008 Upfronts" blog. Fortunately for you, it will immediately be replaced by my "Fall Season 2008" blog series.
Note that I have a "Look Familiar?" section for each show that has any predominant actors in it. I know how a personal favourite can make a viewer tune into a show that they might not normally watch. Otherwise one might miss the brilliance of a Burn Notice or a Townies.
So here they are in all their miserable glory, sorted by the day of the week that they air for your convenience:
SUNDAY
In Harm's Way (The CW/Media Rights Capital)
An hour-long reality show that focuses on the lives of people doing various dangerous jobs, including war photographers, oil well cappers, Coast Guard divers, and minesweepers.
(Sort of like America's Toughest Jobs on NBC only on a network that you'll never find.)
Surviving Suburbia (The CW/Media Rights Capital)
A half-hour comedy that focuses on a grumpy blue-collar worker, Keith Stevers, his wife Anne, and their two children, Henry and Courtney. Everything seems normal for the Steverses until new next-door neighbors cause several problems, turning their suburban lifestyle upside-down.
(Apparently one of the "problems" is that the new 17 year old girl next door makes Keith's pants feel a little tight. Eww.)
Look Familiar?: Bob Saget
Valentine (The CW/Media Rights Capital)
A romantic dramedy about Greek deities – Aphrodite; Eros; Hercules; and Phoebe, seer of the Oracle of Delphi – who live amongst humans, bringing soulmates together while keeping their true identities a secret.
(So that the Christians don't stone them to death, I suppose.)
Easy Money (The CW/Media Rights Capital)
A dramedy which follows 28-year-old Morgan Buffkin, who suddenly finds himself in charge of Prestige Payday Loans, his eccentric family's enormously successful short-term loan sharking business. Any doubts Morgan has about running his family's business take back seat to the problems he has dealing with his family.
(Apparently if you like Dirty Sexy Money, you can watch the reruns on The CW. Get it? Because this show is just like that one? Oh nevermind.)
Look Familiar?: Judge Reinhold, Laurie Metcalf
MONDAY
Worst Week (CBS)
A sitcom about a soon-to-be married couple who go on a family holiday with their in-laws for a week. Over the course of the week, the groom keeps getting into all kinds of unexplainable embarrassment, causing his in-laws to hate him.
(Yes, this is a Meet The Parents rip-off. Were you really expecting something original? You do know there was a writer's strike, right?)
Look Familiar?: Kurtwood Smith
My Own Worst Enemy (NBC)
Henry Spivey is a middle-class efficiency expert living a humdrum life in the suburbs with a wife, two kids, a dog, and a minivan. Edward Albright is a secret operative who speaks thirteen languages, runs a four-minute mile, and is trained to kill. Henry and Edward are polar opposites who share only one thing in common – the same body. When the carefully constructed wall between them breaks down, Henry and Edward are thrust into unfamiliar territory where each man is dangerously out of his element.
(This show features one of my beloved Twin Peaks Girls so I am not picking it apart. (At least not today.))
Look Familiar?: Christian Slater, Mädchen Amick, Alfre Woodard
TUESDAY
Opportunity Knocks (ABC)
A game show that comes to contestants' houses and sets up show on their front yard. Then, in front of neighbors and friends, they are asked trivia questions about their own lives, in an attempt to win hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash and prizes.
(In other words it is a traveling version of Amne$ia, the defunct Dennis Miller game show.)
The Mentalist (CBS)
A police drama about Patrick Jane, an independent consultant with the California Bureau of Investigation, who has a remarkable track record for solving serious crimes by using his razor sharp skills of observation. Notorious for his blatant lack of protocol and his semi-celebrity past as a fake psychic medium, his role in cracking tough high-profile cases is greatly valued by his fellow agents.
(If you enjoy laughing out loud, watch Psych, which airs Fridays at 10:00pm on the USA Network. (Thanks Bill!) It's basically the same show as this one, only funny. If however you don't enjoy laughter, feel free to watch this show instead.)
90210 (The CW)
A teen drama which looks at life through the eyes of Annie Wilson and her adopted brother Dixon Wilson, whose first day at West Beverly Hills High School leaves no doubt that they're not in Kansas anymore. Annie and Dixon have a close sibling relationship, which they'll need to help them cope with all the new cliques and classmates. Further fueling their awkwardness is the fact that their dad is the new high school principal.
(Maybe during sweeps we will find out why it was necessary for Dixon to be adopted. Eww.)
Look Familiar?: Jennie Garth, Shannen Doherty, Lori Loughlin
Privileged (The CW)
A drama set in Palm Beach's world of wealth and power, about the new tutor of a cosmetics mogul's twin teen granddaughters. The teen girls are beautiful, rebellious, and less-than-thrilled with their new tutor, who is nonetheless determined to win them over as she enjoys the perks of her new job – a breathtaking private suite, gorgeous convertible, and live-in chef Marco.
(Look, if you are still reading this instead of camping yourself out in front of your television waiting desperately for this show to premiere, you are not likely to watch it.)
Look Familiar?: Debi Mazar
Fringe (Fox)
A dramatic science-fiction series that deals with a research scientist, his son, and a female FBI agent. This show from Lost co-creator J.J. Abrams follows the FBI probe of the mysterious deaths aboard an airplane that landed at Boston's Logan Airport. But the deaths aboard Flight 627 are only the beginning of the story, which will have an overarching mythology.
(Look, if you are still reading this instead of camping yourself out in front of your television waiting desperately for this show to premiere, you are a fool.)
Look Familiar?: Mark Valley, Joshua Jackson
WEDNESDAY
Gary Unmarried [previously known as Project Gary] (CBS)
A sitcom about a charming divorced father who shares custody of his two children with his ex-wife. His discovery that his ex has become engaged to their marriage counselor forces him to move on and he eventually connects with a gorgeous single mother whose condo he was hired to paint.
(I'm contractually obligated to write something about each of these shows, but this one is simply so generic sounding that I've got nothing. Move along.)
Look Familiar?: Jay Mohr, Paula Marshall, Larry Miller
Stylista (The CW)
A fashion-themed reality series, with people competing for a job at Elle Magazine by working as "assistants" to Anne Slowey, Elle's Fashion News Director. Slowey is the demanding but well-respected fashion icon who will be responsible for firing and ultimately hiring the winner.
(Would it really surprise anyone if I said that this is a cross between Project Runway and The Apprentice? Anyone?)
Do Not Disturb [Previously known as The Inn] (Fox)
A comedy series set at one of New York City's hottest and hippest hotels. It features a detail-oriented general manager who will do whatever it takes to keep the hotel up to his personal standards, a head of Human Resources who runs the department with a set of rules all her own, an aging model at the front desk, a naive bellman who was hired to show off his chiseled face, a reservations clerk who dreams of pop-singer stardom, and the head of housekeeping who spends more time on the phone cleaning up his messes at home than he does cleaning up after the guests upstairs.
(This show is trying so hard to be funny that it is *literally* hemorrhaging hijinks!)
Look Familiar?: Jerry O'Connell, Robert Wagner
Knight Rider (NBC)
Crime-fighting supercar KITT returns in Mustang form in this sequel to the 1982 TV series. Here, the jaded ex-army ranger son of Michael Knight teams up with the intelligent automobile in order to fight crime with the help of both his former girlfriend and his best friend.
(If you missed out on the made-for-television movie earlier this year, then I am sorry to report that you will now have too difficult of a time catching up on the intricate and subtle nuances of this show. If you did catch it, then I am even more sorry for you.)
Sound Familiar?: Val Kilmer's voice
THURSDAY
Life On Mars (ABC)
A modern police detective wakes from a coma to find himself working as a cop in 1973 New York. He is forced to learn a different moral code and fight crime without any hi-tech assistance, while clashing with his new boss and seeking a way back to his future.
(If Journeyman didn't make the cut, then what are the odds for this grittier version? Very, very long odds.)
Look Familiar?: Harvey Keitel, Michael Imperioli, Gretchen Mol, Lisa Bonet, Colm Meaney
Eleventh Hour (CBS)
A science-fiction drama which follows Dr. Jacob Hood, a brilliant biophysicist and special science advisor to the government, who is called in at the eleventh hour to investigate scientific crises and oddities. His jurisdiction is absolute and he is dogged in his pursuit to protect the substance of science from those with nefarious motives.
(Although no show this year quite earned the coveted Shasta McNasty Award, this one comes the closest. If only they had stayed with their original title: Saved From Scary Science Stuff At The Last Possible Minute.)
Kath & Kim (NBC)
A sitcom about a dysfunctional mother and daughter that live in a suburban community in Florida. Kath is the foxy forty-something divorcée mom who finally has some time for herself. Kim is the mid-twenties daughter that dresses like a child and is obsessed with celebrities. When Kim decides to move back home after separating from her husband, Kath reluctantly agrees but is not about to cater to Kim's every whim as she has in the past.
(Is every freaking American show this season stolen from somewhere else?!?!? Specifically, this one is ripped off from our old penal colony, Australia. Hopefully this version doesn't have any boomerangs in it because they give me the willies. Unnatural, those things are.)
Look Familiar?: Molly Shannon, Selma Blair, John Michael Higgins
FRIDAY
The Ex-List (CBS)
An hour-long dramedy that follows a single, successful business owner who learns from a psychic that she has already dated her soul mate. Further, if she doesn't find him in the next year, she will remain alone forever. So she decides to revisit her past relationships and analyze every failed romance with the help of her close circle of friends.
(As my wife deliciously pointed out, where is the end-game for this series? Or, as she more succinctly put it, what kind of ho-bag does this bird need to be for the series to keep going?)
Crusoe (NBC)
A new adventure drama based on the legendary novel by Daniel Defoe. This is the tale of Robinson Crusoe, who leaves his true love to embark on an adventure, only to end up shipwrecked on a remote tropical island for 28 years. His desire to return to his wife and his strong and unlikely friendship with Friday are the only things that keep him sane.
(What kind of moron leaves his true love to embark on an adventure? I hope she dumps his ass while he's stranded!)
Look Familiar?: Sam Neill, Sean Bean
SATURDAY
No, the blog didn't suddenly end. As usual, Saturday is a complete wasteland devoid of anything redeeming. (And, no, I don't count Night Rider reruns as redeeming, no matter how desperate or drunk you get.)
Tomorrow I'll post when each and every show is scheduled to premiere. Because I'm cool like that.
-TTVB-
Note that I have a "Look Familiar?" section for each show that has any predominant actors in it. I know how a personal favourite can make a viewer tune into a show that they might not normally watch. Otherwise one might miss the brilliance of a Burn Notice or a Townies.
So here they are in all their miserable glory, sorted by the day of the week that they air for your convenience:
SUNDAY
In Harm's Way (The CW/Media Rights Capital)
An hour-long reality show that focuses on the lives of people doing various dangerous jobs, including war photographers, oil well cappers, Coast Guard divers, and minesweepers.
(Sort of like America's Toughest Jobs on NBC only on a network that you'll never find.)
Surviving Suburbia (The CW/Media Rights Capital)
A half-hour comedy that focuses on a grumpy blue-collar worker, Keith Stevers, his wife Anne, and their two children, Henry and Courtney. Everything seems normal for the Steverses until new next-door neighbors cause several problems, turning their suburban lifestyle upside-down.
(Apparently one of the "problems" is that the new 17 year old girl next door makes Keith's pants feel a little tight. Eww.)
Look Familiar?: Bob Saget
Valentine (The CW/Media Rights Capital)
A romantic dramedy about Greek deities – Aphrodite; Eros; Hercules; and Phoebe, seer of the Oracle of Delphi – who live amongst humans, bringing soulmates together while keeping their true identities a secret.
(So that the Christians don't stone them to death, I suppose.)
Easy Money (The CW/Media Rights Capital)
A dramedy which follows 28-year-old Morgan Buffkin, who suddenly finds himself in charge of Prestige Payday Loans, his eccentric family's enormously successful short-term loan sharking business. Any doubts Morgan has about running his family's business take back seat to the problems he has dealing with his family.
(Apparently if you like Dirty Sexy Money, you can watch the reruns on The CW. Get it? Because this show is just like that one? Oh nevermind.)
Look Familiar?: Judge Reinhold, Laurie Metcalf
MONDAY
Worst Week (CBS)
A sitcom about a soon-to-be married couple who go on a family holiday with their in-laws for a week. Over the course of the week, the groom keeps getting into all kinds of unexplainable embarrassment, causing his in-laws to hate him.
(Yes, this is a Meet The Parents rip-off. Were you really expecting something original? You do know there was a writer's strike, right?)
Look Familiar?: Kurtwood Smith
My Own Worst Enemy (NBC)
Henry Spivey is a middle-class efficiency expert living a humdrum life in the suburbs with a wife, two kids, a dog, and a minivan. Edward Albright is a secret operative who speaks thirteen languages, runs a four-minute mile, and is trained to kill. Henry and Edward are polar opposites who share only one thing in common – the same body. When the carefully constructed wall between them breaks down, Henry and Edward are thrust into unfamiliar territory where each man is dangerously out of his element.
(This show features one of my beloved Twin Peaks Girls so I am not picking it apart. (At least not today.))
Look Familiar?: Christian Slater, Mädchen Amick, Alfre Woodard
TUESDAY
Opportunity Knocks (ABC)
A game show that comes to contestants' houses and sets up show on their front yard. Then, in front of neighbors and friends, they are asked trivia questions about their own lives, in an attempt to win hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash and prizes.
(In other words it is a traveling version of Amne$ia, the defunct Dennis Miller game show.)
The Mentalist (CBS)
A police drama about Patrick Jane, an independent consultant with the California Bureau of Investigation, who has a remarkable track record for solving serious crimes by using his razor sharp skills of observation. Notorious for his blatant lack of protocol and his semi-celebrity past as a fake psychic medium, his role in cracking tough high-profile cases is greatly valued by his fellow agents.
(If you enjoy laughing out loud, watch Psych, which airs Fridays at 10:00pm on the USA Network. (Thanks Bill!) It's basically the same show as this one, only funny. If however you don't enjoy laughter, feel free to watch this show instead.)
90210 (The CW)
A teen drama which looks at life through the eyes of Annie Wilson and her adopted brother Dixon Wilson, whose first day at West Beverly Hills High School leaves no doubt that they're not in Kansas anymore. Annie and Dixon have a close sibling relationship, which they'll need to help them cope with all the new cliques and classmates. Further fueling their awkwardness is the fact that their dad is the new high school principal.
(Maybe during sweeps we will find out why it was necessary for Dixon to be adopted. Eww.)
Look Familiar?: Jennie Garth, Shannen Doherty, Lori Loughlin
Privileged (The CW)
A drama set in Palm Beach's world of wealth and power, about the new tutor of a cosmetics mogul's twin teen granddaughters. The teen girls are beautiful, rebellious, and less-than-thrilled with their new tutor, who is nonetheless determined to win them over as she enjoys the perks of her new job – a breathtaking private suite, gorgeous convertible, and live-in chef Marco.
(Look, if you are still reading this instead of camping yourself out in front of your television waiting desperately for this show to premiere, you are not likely to watch it.)
Look Familiar?: Debi Mazar
Fringe (Fox)
A dramatic science-fiction series that deals with a research scientist, his son, and a female FBI agent. This show from Lost co-creator J.J. Abrams follows the FBI probe of the mysterious deaths aboard an airplane that landed at Boston's Logan Airport. But the deaths aboard Flight 627 are only the beginning of the story, which will have an overarching mythology.
(Look, if you are still reading this instead of camping yourself out in front of your television waiting desperately for this show to premiere, you are a fool.)
Look Familiar?: Mark Valley, Joshua Jackson
WEDNESDAY
Gary Unmarried [previously known as Project Gary] (CBS)
A sitcom about a charming divorced father who shares custody of his two children with his ex-wife. His discovery that his ex has become engaged to their marriage counselor forces him to move on and he eventually connects with a gorgeous single mother whose condo he was hired to paint.
(I'm contractually obligated to write something about each of these shows, but this one is simply so generic sounding that I've got nothing. Move along.)
Look Familiar?: Jay Mohr, Paula Marshall, Larry Miller
Stylista (The CW)
A fashion-themed reality series, with people competing for a job at Elle Magazine by working as "assistants" to Anne Slowey, Elle's Fashion News Director. Slowey is the demanding but well-respected fashion icon who will be responsible for firing and ultimately hiring the winner.
(Would it really surprise anyone if I said that this is a cross between Project Runway and The Apprentice? Anyone?)
Do Not Disturb [Previously known as The Inn] (Fox)
A comedy series set at one of New York City's hottest and hippest hotels. It features a detail-oriented general manager who will do whatever it takes to keep the hotel up to his personal standards, a head of Human Resources who runs the department with a set of rules all her own, an aging model at the front desk, a naive bellman who was hired to show off his chiseled face, a reservations clerk who dreams of pop-singer stardom, and the head of housekeeping who spends more time on the phone cleaning up his messes at home than he does cleaning up after the guests upstairs.
(This show is trying so hard to be funny that it is *literally* hemorrhaging hijinks!)
Look Familiar?: Jerry O'Connell, Robert Wagner
Knight Rider (NBC)
Crime-fighting supercar KITT returns in Mustang form in this sequel to the 1982 TV series. Here, the jaded ex-army ranger son of Michael Knight teams up with the intelligent automobile in order to fight crime with the help of both his former girlfriend and his best friend.
(If you missed out on the made-for-television movie earlier this year, then I am sorry to report that you will now have too difficult of a time catching up on the intricate and subtle nuances of this show. If you did catch it, then I am even more sorry for you.)
Sound Familiar?: Val Kilmer's voice
THURSDAY
Life On Mars (ABC)
A modern police detective wakes from a coma to find himself working as a cop in 1973 New York. He is forced to learn a different moral code and fight crime without any hi-tech assistance, while clashing with his new boss and seeking a way back to his future.
(If Journeyman didn't make the cut, then what are the odds for this grittier version? Very, very long odds.)
Look Familiar?: Harvey Keitel, Michael Imperioli, Gretchen Mol, Lisa Bonet, Colm Meaney
Eleventh Hour (CBS)
A science-fiction drama which follows Dr. Jacob Hood, a brilliant biophysicist and special science advisor to the government, who is called in at the eleventh hour to investigate scientific crises and oddities. His jurisdiction is absolute and he is dogged in his pursuit to protect the substance of science from those with nefarious motives.
(Although no show this year quite earned the coveted Shasta McNasty Award, this one comes the closest. If only they had stayed with their original title: Saved From Scary Science Stuff At The Last Possible Minute.)
Kath & Kim (NBC)
A sitcom about a dysfunctional mother and daughter that live in a suburban community in Florida. Kath is the foxy forty-something divorcée mom who finally has some time for herself. Kim is the mid-twenties daughter that dresses like a child and is obsessed with celebrities. When Kim decides to move back home after separating from her husband, Kath reluctantly agrees but is not about to cater to Kim's every whim as she has in the past.
(Is every freaking American show this season stolen from somewhere else?!?!? Specifically, this one is ripped off from our old penal colony, Australia. Hopefully this version doesn't have any boomerangs in it because they give me the willies. Unnatural, those things are.)
Look Familiar?: Molly Shannon, Selma Blair, John Michael Higgins
FRIDAY
The Ex-List (CBS)
An hour-long dramedy that follows a single, successful business owner who learns from a psychic that she has already dated her soul mate. Further, if she doesn't find him in the next year, she will remain alone forever. So she decides to revisit her past relationships and analyze every failed romance with the help of her close circle of friends.
(As my wife deliciously pointed out, where is the end-game for this series? Or, as she more succinctly put it, what kind of ho-bag does this bird need to be for the series to keep going?)
Crusoe (NBC)
A new adventure drama based on the legendary novel by Daniel Defoe. This is the tale of Robinson Crusoe, who leaves his true love to embark on an adventure, only to end up shipwrecked on a remote tropical island for 28 years. His desire to return to his wife and his strong and unlikely friendship with Friday are the only things that keep him sane.
(What kind of moron leaves his true love to embark on an adventure? I hope she dumps his ass while he's stranded!)
Look Familiar?: Sam Neill, Sean Bean
SATURDAY
No, the blog didn't suddenly end. As usual, Saturday is a complete wasteland devoid of anything redeeming. (And, no, I don't count Night Rider reruns as redeeming, no matter how desperate or drunk you get.)
Tomorrow I'll post when each and every show is scheduled to premiere. Because I'm cool like that.
-TTVB-
05 August 2008
2008 Upfronts (part six)
Now let us take a moment to move our attention from the television shows that have been pushed onto a breakaway iceberg so that they float out to their painfully cruel death, and instead focus on the ones that are still dancing with the penguins. (How's that for a shabby – and Zoologically inaccurate – metaphor?)
Here is the full list in alphabetical order. (WARNING: It's painfully long.)
20/20
24
30 Rock
48 Hours Mystery
60 Minutes
According to Jim
American Dad!
American Gladiators
American Idol
America's Funniest Home Videos
America's Most Wanted
America's Next Top Model
Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?
Bones
Boston Legal
Brothers & Sisters
Chuck
Cold Case
COPS
Crimetime Saturday
Criminal Minds
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
CSI: Miami
CSI: NY
Dancing with the Stars
Dateline NBC
Deal or No Deal
Desperate Housewives
Dirty Sexy Money
Don't Forget the Lyrics
Eli Stone
ER
Everybody Hates Chris
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
Family Guy
Friday Night Lights
Ghost Whisperer
Gossip Girl
Grey's Anatomy
Hell's Kitchen
Heroes
House
How I Met Your Mother
King of the Hill
Kitchen Nightmares
Law & Order
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Life
Lipstick Jungle
Lost
Medium
Million Dollar Password
My Name Is Earl
NBC Sunday Night Football
NCIS
Numb3rs
One Tree Hill
Primetime
Prison Break
Private Practice
Pushing Daisies
Reaper
Rules of Engagement
Samantha Who?
Scrubs (Now on ABC!)
Smallville
So You Think You Can Dance
Supernanny
Supernatural
Survivor
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
The Amazing Race
The Bachelor
The Big Bang Theory
The Biggest Loser
The Celebrity Apprentice
The Game
The Moment of Truth
The New Adventures of Old Christine
The Office
The Simpsons
The Unit
'Til Death
Two and a Half Men
Ugly Betty
Wife Swap
Without a Trace
(You'll notice that anything that starts with "The" is sorted under T. Don't blame me – blame the creators that felt that the "The" was necessary. I bow to their creative choices.)
So everyone has the shows that they hate and the shows that they love. No doubt you'll see both in the above listing. If I've learned anything doing this year-in and year-out, it is that every show has fans that think it is the best thing out there. Of course they are miserably wrong, but let's just let them live in their barking mad world, okay?
So let's talk about the best shows. You know, the one's that I watch.
Heroes
The first season was flawless... until the creators fell painfully flat on their face in the twenty-third hour. Season two was scattershot at best. So if Kring & Co. don't produce a nearly perfect third season, this show may never see a fourth year.
How I Met Your Mother
If you are not watching this show than you are depriving yourself of the funniest show on television. Simply stated, simply true.
Life
I love Life. It's not as cloyingly quirky as Monk has become and it has a hidden darkness buried beneath the humour. Not to mention a brilliant (ongoing and weekly) mystery.
Lost
The show that always manages to alienate its viewers by pushing the premise simply too far. And then bring them back by pushing it even farther.
My Name Is Earl
Jason Lee is just awesome. But the fact that this show was renewed yet again (after the most dreadful season yet) was simply too much. Delete! (Sometimes you have to walk away from a show and just pray that the actors you love find something more worthy of them.)
Reaper
It started out great, got stale, and then breathed life once more. On the fence, this one is. But I'll be there to see which way it tips.
Rules of Engagement
Patrick Warburton and Megyn Price elevate this average sitcom into something that's funny. A lot funny.
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
I was really starting to tire of the show's formula until Brian Austin Green arrived to give it some kick-ass heart.
The Amazing Race
Still the best reality show out there. If you don't love it, it's only because you haven't watched it. YES, it really is *that* good.
If you are still waiting for me to mention your favourite show, I have news for you: As good as your favourite show is, each and every one of the above is even better. (Well, except for My Name Is Earl, but hopefully that will get cancelled soon. And then maybe Jason Lee will join your favourite show and it will finally be good enough for me to watch.)
And now that we have that bit of squeak out of the way, next blog let's move on to the new shows. Because without my guidance, you'll just end up watching something ordinary instead of something awesome.
Here is the full list in alphabetical order. (WARNING: It's painfully long.)
20/20
24
30 Rock
48 Hours Mystery
60 Minutes
According to Jim
American Dad!
American Gladiators
American Idol
America's Funniest Home Videos
America's Most Wanted
America's Next Top Model
Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?
Bones
Boston Legal
Brothers & Sisters
Chuck
Cold Case
COPS
Crimetime Saturday
Criminal Minds
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
CSI: Miami
CSI: NY
Dancing with the Stars
Dateline NBC
Deal or No Deal
Desperate Housewives
Dirty Sexy Money
Don't Forget the Lyrics
Eli Stone
ER
Everybody Hates Chris
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
Family Guy
Friday Night Lights
Ghost Whisperer
Gossip Girl
Grey's Anatomy
Hell's Kitchen
Heroes
House
How I Met Your Mother
King of the Hill
Kitchen Nightmares
Law & Order
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Life
Lipstick Jungle
Lost
Medium
Million Dollar Password
My Name Is Earl
NBC Sunday Night Football
NCIS
Numb3rs
One Tree Hill
Primetime
Prison Break
Private Practice
Pushing Daisies
Reaper
Rules of Engagement
Samantha Who?
Scrubs (Now on ABC!)
Smallville
So You Think You Can Dance
Supernanny
Supernatural
Survivor
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
The Amazing Race
The Bachelor
The Big Bang Theory
The Biggest Loser
The Celebrity Apprentice
The Game
The Moment of Truth
The New Adventures of Old Christine
The Office
The Simpsons
The Unit
'Til Death
Two and a Half Men
Ugly Betty
Wife Swap
Without a Trace
(You'll notice that anything that starts with "The" is sorted under T. Don't blame me – blame the creators that felt that the "The" was necessary. I bow to their creative choices.)
So everyone has the shows that they hate and the shows that they love. No doubt you'll see both in the above listing. If I've learned anything doing this year-in and year-out, it is that every show has fans that think it is the best thing out there. Of course they are miserably wrong, but let's just let them live in their barking mad world, okay?
So let's talk about the best shows. You know, the one's that I watch.
Heroes
The first season was flawless... until the creators fell painfully flat on their face in the twenty-third hour. Season two was scattershot at best. So if Kring & Co. don't produce a nearly perfect third season, this show may never see a fourth year.
How I Met Your Mother
If you are not watching this show than you are depriving yourself of the funniest show on television. Simply stated, simply true.
Life
I love Life. It's not as cloyingly quirky as Monk has become and it has a hidden darkness buried beneath the humour. Not to mention a brilliant (ongoing and weekly) mystery.
Lost
The show that always manages to alienate its viewers by pushing the premise simply too far. And then bring them back by pushing it even farther.
My Name Is Earl
Jason Lee is just awesome. But the fact that this show was renewed yet again (after the most dreadful season yet) was simply too much. Delete! (Sometimes you have to walk away from a show and just pray that the actors you love find something more worthy of them.)
Reaper
It started out great, got stale, and then breathed life once more. On the fence, this one is. But I'll be there to see which way it tips.
Rules of Engagement
Patrick Warburton and Megyn Price elevate this average sitcom into something that's funny. A lot funny.
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
I was really starting to tire of the show's formula until Brian Austin Green arrived to give it some kick-ass heart.
The Amazing Race
Still the best reality show out there. If you don't love it, it's only because you haven't watched it. YES, it really is *that* good.
If you are still waiting for me to mention your favourite show, I have news for you: As good as your favourite show is, each and every one of the above is even better. (Well, except for My Name Is Earl, but hopefully that will get cancelled soon. And then maybe Jason Lee will join your favourite show and it will finally be good enough for me to watch.)
And now that we have that bit of squeak out of the way, next blog let's move on to the new shows. Because without my guidance, you'll just end up watching something ordinary instead of something awesome.
Suit up!
-TTVB-
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