As some of you already know, my family and I have been dealing with a lot of various health issues lately. Thank God none of them have been too scary or debilitating. However, they have been enough that pretty much all of our time and efforts these past weeks have been used up dealing with the fallout.
So rather than spend hours trying to play catch-up reviewing new television shows for this blog, I have instead made the difficult decision to scrap the whole blog experiment.
If anyone wants any future television-centric ramblings, certainly feel free to comment and let me know. Otherwise this will be the end of a very long road.
Thanks for putting up with my side hobby.
-TTVB-
13 October 2008
27 September 2008
Fall Season 2008 (the reviews, part 1)
Fringe
To be honest, I found myself a bit disappointed by the premiere.
My largest concern was the occasional but highly unlikely plot point which clearly existed only to further the storyline:
--In light of this scary turn of events, why would the federal government adhere to a state mandate that only Dr. Walter Bishop's family can visit him in the mental institution where he has been locked up for the past 17 years?
--Why would Harvard keep all of Dr. Bishop's original "mad scientist" equipment in the same location that he left it all those years ago (with only a few tarps to show that it has been put in "storage")?
--Why does Special Agent Dunham risk her life* in a desperate gambit just to see the what an unkown suspect looked like (with no name or other information attached to this fact)?
*I'm not talking regular life-risking. She has the base of her skull drilled, agrees to be heavily drugged with an LSD variant, strips down naked (this being network television, "naked" means everything but her bra and knickers), and submerges herself in a sensory deprivation tank in an attempt to astral project into the thoughts of another FBI agent.
Another moment that I found odd was during the astral projection of Special Agent Dunham, where something clearly of note happens on a monitor, prompting Peter Bishop to ask "what was that?" In response, his father states, "nothing" in a very matter-of-fact manner, but with a knowing look on his face which indicates otherwise. This interaction was never explained.
As for the "twist ending" with Special Agent Scott, it doesn't hold up upon a quick review of the events which lead up to the twist. In fact, the pilot almost appears to have been rewritten halfway through! Special Agent Scott tries to run his lover off the road, even though we are led to believe that he truly loved her? What did I miss here?
Further, why did Morgan Steig inject himself with the mystery serum in the first place? He looked terrible on the airplane even before he did it, so it is unclear why he would do such a suicidal thing. Perhaps he thought it was Dramamine...
Much like Lost, this show creates a plethora of questions as you watch. But unlike Lost, I have less faith that the questions I have posed are set to be answered. Rather, I just think the writing was sloppy and the show will march on and not look back at these little glitches.
And yet despite all of the above hiccups, I did actually enjoy the show. It was well directed (though I didn't like the "bubble graphics" which accompanied each location change) and was exceptionally well acted for a pilot. Not only has Joshua Jackson successfully shed his Pacey alter-ego, but I was extremely pleased that Dr. Bishop was portrayed as truly nutters, not just as a mildly eccentric scientist. Further, the Massive Dynamics angle was highly intriguing and just enough was revealed to really whet the appetite.
Final Verdict: Overall, the show may have not come out of the gate as strongly as Lost or Alias, but it certainly looks primed to be a success.
90210
This show is truly a strange bedfellow with itself.
In the pilot episode, jock Ethan Ward receives oral sex (just barely off-screen) in his car. In the parking lot of West Beverly Hills High. While everyone is arriving for morning class. From another student who is not his girlfriend. And this, my friends, is the prospective beau of the main character, Annie Wilson.
I'd say that it goes downhill from there, but it doesn't. Apparently the aforementioned risqué (and pathetically gratuitous) sex scene is merely a desperate attempt to convince viewers not to change the channel. Because the rest of the show is quite devoid of any such nastiness.
However, it remains a show where dichotomy is the name of the game. For example, character Erin Silver publicly disses our poor Annie on Silver's highly-viewed internet blog site. But then makes up for it by apologizing in private.
Another example is when Annie begs her mom for permission to go to dinner with cute thespian Ty Collins after drama practice. When Ty wants to literally fly her to San Francisco for dinner, she submits to his offer. (Of course, Annie doesn't tell her parents about the trip because, you know, she doesn't want to get in trouble for potentially being kidnapped and sold into white slavery.)
In fact, the entire show is filled with both supposedly nice characters making really stupid decisions, and supposedly mean characters being relatively docile. But despite all of this (or perhaps because of it?), everyone comes across as being surprisingly layered and multidimensional.
Final Verdict: As far as the genre is concerned, it is certainly a superior creation. However, it isn't quite enough to keep me watching. (I get tired of watching the on-screen teenagers act idotically. It makes me yell at the televison and look exactly like the daft old gent that I am.)
Do Not Disturb
Four times, I genuinely laughed out loud. That's more than most comedies these days, including those which are considered successful. Unfortunately the rest of this show's supposed jokes were just painful, so as a result there is a gaping dumbness which permeates the show. And many of the situations are telegraphed so far in advance that you end up waiting for the show to finally present the joke so that viewers can finally move on to the next attempt.
Further, none of the characters are much more than one-dimensional caricatures. The exception being Nicole, the blonde model / reservations supervisor, who is portrayed by Molly Stanton. She was able to spin straw into gold with perfect timing and a flawless delivery. She outshined even my mate Jerry O'Connell, who managed to be charming, but was simply too crippled by the poor writing to wring out more than one (hysterically) funny joke.
Final Verdict: The humour and acting was extremely weak. However, with the dearth of good sitcoms these days, I'm willing to give it another chance.
Hole In The Wall
This is a show that is not very difficult to describe – contestants attempt to shape their bodies in the same figure as cutouts in a styrofoam wall. It is also a show that is not very difficult to enjoy. At least the first time you see it.
However, when confronted with the prospect of watching it one week later, the resulting decision sorts out what kind of viewer you are.
If you are the kind of viewer that is eager to see what ridiculous shapes and positions the show will come up with next, then this is your show. However, if you feel that seeing one episode is like seeing every episode, then there are other shows better suited for you. I fall under this second category.
Having said that, I think this show has the potential to be quite a ratings king, because it is the same "turn off your brain" type of show like Deal Or No Deal.
Final Verdict: Unlike Wipeout, which transcends its generic premise by including commentary and instant replay doodles, Hole In The Wall is only moderately entertaining. Regardless, if you are looking to relax with a moderately entertaining show that will require almost no level of attentiveness, this may be the series for you.
America's Toughest Jobs
First I would like to concede that I misunderstood what this show was about. I had thought it was just another "tough job" show, but it is actually a reality show where contestants participate in "tough job" challenges. Far more interesting.
Unfortunately, much like Survivor, you start off not really getting to know everyone. This is a result of editing and having too many participants to focus full attention on them all. The resulting downside is that I ended up not attaching to any character as the hero or villain of the group. And without someone to root for or against, it is harder to get invested in the show.
The show's first challenge was based on Deadliest Catch, but its location/time was clearly not in the middle of the prime crab fishing season. (If it were, at least three contestants would have ended up corpses by the end.) This made for a much tamer viewing, as there was not really as much danger as they otherwise imply.
However, I have to say that the absolute worst part of this show is the narrator, who is so monotone and unexciting that he makes Stephen Hawking's voice synthesizer seem thrilling by comparison. You eventually get used to the dullness until suddenly he will speak a certain word or phrase with so little inflection that you are immediately pulled out of the action.
The brilliance and bane of this show is that each week the generic contestants must compete in a completely different vocation. Hence, if you are not interested in panning for gold or bull fighting, you can simply skip that episode. On the other hand, if you are interested in logging or bridge construction, you can jump right in and see the excitement.
Final Verdict: While I won't watch the show on an ongoing basis I might check it out from time to time depending on the profession.
To be honest, I found myself a bit disappointed by the premiere.
My largest concern was the occasional but highly unlikely plot point which clearly existed only to further the storyline:
--In light of this scary turn of events, why would the federal government adhere to a state mandate that only Dr. Walter Bishop's family can visit him in the mental institution where he has been locked up for the past 17 years?
--Why would Harvard keep all of Dr. Bishop's original "mad scientist" equipment in the same location that he left it all those years ago (with only a few tarps to show that it has been put in "storage")?
--Why does Special Agent Dunham risk her life* in a desperate gambit just to see the what an unkown suspect looked like (with no name or other information attached to this fact)?
*I'm not talking regular life-risking. She has the base of her skull drilled, agrees to be heavily drugged with an LSD variant, strips down naked (this being network television, "naked" means everything but her bra and knickers), and submerges herself in a sensory deprivation tank in an attempt to astral project into the thoughts of another FBI agent.
Another moment that I found odd was during the astral projection of Special Agent Dunham, where something clearly of note happens on a monitor, prompting Peter Bishop to ask "what was that?" In response, his father states, "nothing" in a very matter-of-fact manner, but with a knowing look on his face which indicates otherwise. This interaction was never explained.
As for the "twist ending" with Special Agent Scott, it doesn't hold up upon a quick review of the events which lead up to the twist. In fact, the pilot almost appears to have been rewritten halfway through! Special Agent Scott tries to run his lover off the road, even though we are led to believe that he truly loved her? What did I miss here?
Further, why did Morgan Steig inject himself with the mystery serum in the first place? He looked terrible on the airplane even before he did it, so it is unclear why he would do such a suicidal thing. Perhaps he thought it was Dramamine...
Much like Lost, this show creates a plethora of questions as you watch. But unlike Lost, I have less faith that the questions I have posed are set to be answered. Rather, I just think the writing was sloppy and the show will march on and not look back at these little glitches.
And yet despite all of the above hiccups, I did actually enjoy the show. It was well directed (though I didn't like the "bubble graphics" which accompanied each location change) and was exceptionally well acted for a pilot. Not only has Joshua Jackson successfully shed his Pacey alter-ego, but I was extremely pleased that Dr. Bishop was portrayed as truly nutters, not just as a mildly eccentric scientist. Further, the Massive Dynamics angle was highly intriguing and just enough was revealed to really whet the appetite.
Final Verdict: Overall, the show may have not come out of the gate as strongly as Lost or Alias, but it certainly looks primed to be a success.
90210
This show is truly a strange bedfellow with itself.
In the pilot episode, jock Ethan Ward receives oral sex (just barely off-screen) in his car. In the parking lot of West Beverly Hills High. While everyone is arriving for morning class. From another student who is not his girlfriend. And this, my friends, is the prospective beau of the main character, Annie Wilson.
I'd say that it goes downhill from there, but it doesn't. Apparently the aforementioned risqué (and pathetically gratuitous) sex scene is merely a desperate attempt to convince viewers not to change the channel. Because the rest of the show is quite devoid of any such nastiness.
However, it remains a show where dichotomy is the name of the game. For example, character Erin Silver publicly disses our poor Annie on Silver's highly-viewed internet blog site. But then makes up for it by apologizing in private.
Another example is when Annie begs her mom for permission to go to dinner with cute thespian Ty Collins after drama practice. When Ty wants to literally fly her to San Francisco for dinner, she submits to his offer. (Of course, Annie doesn't tell her parents about the trip because, you know, she doesn't want to get in trouble for potentially being kidnapped and sold into white slavery.)
In fact, the entire show is filled with both supposedly nice characters making really stupid decisions, and supposedly mean characters being relatively docile. But despite all of this (or perhaps because of it?), everyone comes across as being surprisingly layered and multidimensional.
Final Verdict: As far as the genre is concerned, it is certainly a superior creation. However, it isn't quite enough to keep me watching. (I get tired of watching the on-screen teenagers act idotically. It makes me yell at the televison and look exactly like the daft old gent that I am.)
Do Not Disturb
Four times, I genuinely laughed out loud. That's more than most comedies these days, including those which are considered successful. Unfortunately the rest of this show's supposed jokes were just painful, so as a result there is a gaping dumbness which permeates the show. And many of the situations are telegraphed so far in advance that you end up waiting for the show to finally present the joke so that viewers can finally move on to the next attempt.
Further, none of the characters are much more than one-dimensional caricatures. The exception being Nicole, the blonde model / reservations supervisor, who is portrayed by Molly Stanton. She was able to spin straw into gold with perfect timing and a flawless delivery. She outshined even my mate Jerry O'Connell, who managed to be charming, but was simply too crippled by the poor writing to wring out more than one (hysterically) funny joke.
Final Verdict: The humour and acting was extremely weak. However, with the dearth of good sitcoms these days, I'm willing to give it another chance.
Hole In The Wall
This is a show that is not very difficult to describe – contestants attempt to shape their bodies in the same figure as cutouts in a styrofoam wall. It is also a show that is not very difficult to enjoy. At least the first time you see it.
However, when confronted with the prospect of watching it one week later, the resulting decision sorts out what kind of viewer you are.
If you are the kind of viewer that is eager to see what ridiculous shapes and positions the show will come up with next, then this is your show. However, if you feel that seeing one episode is like seeing every episode, then there are other shows better suited for you. I fall under this second category.
Having said that, I think this show has the potential to be quite a ratings king, because it is the same "turn off your brain" type of show like Deal Or No Deal.
Final Verdict: Unlike Wipeout, which transcends its generic premise by including commentary and instant replay doodles, Hole In The Wall is only moderately entertaining. Regardless, if you are looking to relax with a moderately entertaining show that will require almost no level of attentiveness, this may be the series for you.
America's Toughest Jobs
First I would like to concede that I misunderstood what this show was about. I had thought it was just another "tough job" show, but it is actually a reality show where contestants participate in "tough job" challenges. Far more interesting.
Unfortunately, much like Survivor, you start off not really getting to know everyone. This is a result of editing and having too many participants to focus full attention on them all. The resulting downside is that I ended up not attaching to any character as the hero or villain of the group. And without someone to root for or against, it is harder to get invested in the show.
The show's first challenge was based on Deadliest Catch, but its location/time was clearly not in the middle of the prime crab fishing season. (If it were, at least three contestants would have ended up corpses by the end.) This made for a much tamer viewing, as there was not really as much danger as they otherwise imply.
However, I have to say that the absolute worst part of this show is the narrator, who is so monotone and unexciting that he makes Stephen Hawking's voice synthesizer seem thrilling by comparison. You eventually get used to the dullness until suddenly he will speak a certain word or phrase with so little inflection that you are immediately pulled out of the action.
The brilliance and bane of this show is that each week the generic contestants must compete in a completely different vocation. Hence, if you are not interested in panning for gold or bull fighting, you can simply skip that episode. On the other hand, if you are interested in logging or bridge construction, you can jump right in and see the excitement.
Final Verdict: While I won't watch the show on an ongoing basis I might check it out from time to time depending on the profession.
14 September 2008
Fall Season 2008 (anticipation)
Today I am going to rate all the new fall primetime network television shows in order of most eagerly anticipated to least anticipated. I apologize for not doing it backwards (David Letterman style) but if that really bothers you, I highly encourage you to scroll down to the bottom and work your way up. Just don't accidentally glance at number one down there just a couple of lines away. (Oops! You looked! Bummer deal.)
1: My Own Worst Enemy
While the premise of this show is very interesting, the inclusion of Christian Slater as Edward/Henry is what really gave it gravitas in my mind. And when I heard that it would also feature Mädchen Amick (one of my beloved Twin Peaks Girls), I was more then intrigued. But what put it solidly at the very top of my list was the discovery that it sprung from the mind of Jason Smilovic, creator of such great shows as Kidnapped and Karen Sisco.
#2: Fringe
J.J. Abrams created Alias. J.J. Abrams co-created Lost. He is a genius to many a fanboy. So it comes as no surprise that his newest television creation is high on my anticipation list. However, it barely misses the top spot. This is simply because the same shroud of secrecy that amps up the frenetic anticipation also results in some concern that the overwhelming buzz of this show may not be able to live up to its own expectations. (Especially since J.J. Abrams will be so busy with his Star Trek movie that he will not be able to oversee the day-to-day operations of this series.) Nonetheless, I am still very, very excited.
#3: Life On Mars
Much like the late lamented Journeyman, this show has a main character who is inexplicably sent back in time. Which is very favourable because I love time travel stories! Plus it has a plethora of famous actors. (Harvey Keitel, Michael Imperioli, Gretchen Mol, Lisa Bonet, and Colm Meaney) Admittedly, that doesn't guarantee the show will be good, but it does draw extra attention. So consider my attention drawn.
#4: The Ex-List
I think the reason I like the concept of this show so much is that it addresses the concept of "the road less traveled," similar to the movie Sliding Doors (though admittedly from a completely different perspective). However, I don't like the caveat that if she doesn't find her soul-mate in a year's time, she will be lonely forever. I think it implies that it is impossible for someone to be truly happy with their second best match in the whole world. (Or third best match, or fourth best...) Another concern of mine is simply that it is being partnered with Ghost Whisperer, which implies that it may be a little too female-friendly of a program (which ruined last season's Women's Murder Club). But if they can keep the estrogen down, I'll be interested in watching how it plays out.
#5: 90210
This update (not a remake, but rather a revisit) of the immensely popular Beverly Hills 90210 is being promoted for the Gossip Girl crowd. However, its title is clearly aimed at pulling in nostalgic older viewers. And since I was a solid Beverly Hills 90210 fan back in the day (imagine a group of teenage boys excitedly chatting away about the exploits of Brandon, Brenda, Kelly, Dylan, Steve, David, & Donna), I am certainly intrigued as to how they are going to make both older and younger viewers happy.
#6: Crusoe
Just like in real life, it all comes down to pirates. Daniel Defoe's book is being produced for television to be more reminiscent of the Pirates Of The Caribbean series. So while the premise remains generally the same, it will feature pirates and cannibals sooner and more predominantly. (Perhaps during Sweeps Week there will even be cannibal pirates!) Also look for Friday to show up much earlier as well. And although I am dubious of all the MacGuyverized inventions (yes, there is an elevator), I shan't mutiny prior to first viewing.
#7: Eleventh Hour
Every time I see or hear anything about this show, I can't help but think that it comes off as being a less supernatural version of X-Files, though I'm not entirely sure if that is an intentional parallel. Regardless, the fact that I perceive the similarity actually makes me more optimistic than I would otherwise be. Another bonus is that the female bodyguard is played by Marley Shelton, who recently grabbed my attention with her portrayal of Dr. Dakota Block in Grindhouse. Yum!
#8: Do Not Disturb
This is my most anticipated comedy of the new season. But the fact that my most anticipated comedy ranks down at number eight does not bode well for comedies in general this year. Specifically, this show rises to the upper middle solely because it is directed by Jason Bateman and features Jerry O'Connell. <http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/3f716ffebe> Unfortunately, it doesn't go any higher because its premise sounds extremely uninspired.
#9: Hole In The Wall
Okay, I am officially intrigued. This show – about contestants who try to contort their bodies in the same shape as an oncoming styrofoam wall in order to earn points and not get swept into a pool of water – looks utterly bizarre in the best possible way. I'm not sure if it will have long-lasting appeal, but I can't imagine not checking it out. It is severely weird!
#10: Gary Unmarried
This is another comedy that suffers from genericitis. The fact that it includes the talents of both Jay Mohr and Paula Marshall certainly raises my hopes for the show, but until I see how things actually play out, it's difficult to be excited.
#11: Valentine
As a kid, I always liked Greek mythology. Lucky for me, this show is about gods from Greek mythology. True, it's about Greek gods running around making love matches, which seems incredibly cheesy and lame, but it still manages to tap into my curiosity. How will Poseidon be depicted? How about Ares? Will the Minotaur show up with flowers and a box of chocolates? I have a feeling that how much I enjoy the show will ultimately be determined by how well they incorporate Greek mythology.
#12: America's Toughest Jobs
When I first heard of this show, I misunderstood the premise and thought that it was a documentary reality show, similar to In Harm's Way. Instead, it appears to be a reality game show where contestants must compete by working in various dangerous professions, such as bull fighting and working on a bridge crew. How will ordinary people do in these high-pressure, high-risk jobs? I'm a little interested in finding out.
#13: The Mentalist
You may have thought that this show – being very similar-sounding to the incredibly funny Psych – would rank higher on my expectation list than unlucky thirteen. And it would have if I had not learned about an extra layer to the show: Patrick Jane is emotionally haunted because, back when we was hunting criminals as a (fake) psychic, his family was murdered by a serial killer he had been tracking at the time. I literally groaned out loud when I discovered this "twist" because it is such a played out plot point. True, they pulled it off exceptionally well in The Profiler, but it is usually a desperate device used to artificially increase the intensity of a show.
#14: Opportunity Knocks
It's a gameshow that comes to you. Really, that's pretty much the entire the hook. Yeah, its questions are based on the lives of contestants, but viewers don't truly care about the lives of others unless they are exciting. In fact, over time I imagine that the show will probably start emphasizing how interesting the contestants are. (It's the biker family! It's the spy family! It's the witness protection program family!) So although I'm intrigued by the gimmick, they're going to have to work very hard to keep me invested.
#15: Surviving Suburbia
This looks absolutely abysmal. It has got to be the worst comedy this year by a long shot. So why is it this high on the list? Because when I saw Bob Saget talking about his own starring vehicle, he came across like even he knew how dreadful it was. So I'm going to be checking it out and eagerly scrutinizing Mr. Saget for signs of subtle mockery for the very show that I am watching.
#16: Stylista
In essence, this show is The Devil Wears Prada meets The Apprentice. The tone seems so negative and venomous that I simply cannot imagine enjoying it. But one never knows. I wasn't expecting to be a fan of Project Runway either (which I was for three seasons), so perhaps it will surprise me. But boy does it have an uphill battle ahead of it.
#17: Kath & Kim
Professionally speaking, I have never liked Molly Shannon. She is just so darn *SHRILL*. Because of this one fact, the more I thought of this looming show, the less I looked forward to it. In fact, the only reason that this isn't nearer/at the bottom is the fact that it also stars Selma Blair, who I truly do like. Unfortunately, her character sounds reprehensible. Hence, I feel like I am going to the gallows on this one.
#18: Worst Week
Meet The Parents was an enjoyable, if somewhat forgettable movie. (Although I admit that it had its moments.) What it did not need was a sequel. Sadly, that is exactly what it got. And it was dreadful. And now it seems that it has also spawned an (unofficial) television series. So if Ben Stiller couldn't pull off another go-around, who is Kyle Bornheimer to think that he can succeed where Derek Zoolander failed?
#19: Privileged
Many viewers want to watch spoiled über-rich brats act extremely spoiley. I am not one of them. The world of the bitchy and powerful does not appeal to me, unless they end up twitching on the end of a katana. Nonetheless, I will soldier on and suffer through the chaos. Truly, I do this for you, dear reader. Even *I* am not that anal-retentive!
#20: In Harm's Way
What is less exciting than a horrid, self-absorbed dramatic television show about stuck-up rich kids? How about a *boring* television show? That is what I fear this show will be. Yes, bicycle messengers may get run over each and every day. But I don't want to see bicycle messengers get almost (or actually) run over. Maybe host Hunter Ellis (from Survivor) can raise the interest level. And then again, maybe not.
#21: Easy Money
The only thing that could be worse than a dreadful show or a boring show is a show that looks to be both boring and dreadful. The only glimmer that I could eke out is the fact that Laurie Metcalf is in this series. But rather than being hopeful about that fact, it just makes me sad that she has somehow wound up on the very worst show of a struggling little network. It would surprise no one more than me if I actually watched even one episode of this series. Truly, it just looks like dreck.
#22: Knight Rider
Surely this show cannot be at the bottom of this list! It's got a cool transformable car, an attractive cast, and a bit of 80s nostalgia to boot. That can't be all bad, can it? In truth, the answer is... no, I don't think it will be the worst show of the season. In actuality, this show lands at the bottom of my anticipation list more on a technicality than anything else. Simply put, I have already seen the show (in the form of the made-for-television movie/backdoor pilot which already aired in February of this year) so I have literally no anticipation. (And by the way, the movie was not at all good.)
And now you know everything you wanted to know about all of the new fall primetime network television shows. Next time I will be reviewing actual episodes of some of these shows, as they are finally starting to trickle out.
Cheers!
-TTVB-
1: My Own Worst Enemy
While the premise of this show is very interesting, the inclusion of Christian Slater as Edward/Henry is what really gave it gravitas in my mind. And when I heard that it would also feature Mädchen Amick (one of my beloved Twin Peaks Girls), I was more then intrigued. But what put it solidly at the very top of my list was the discovery that it sprung from the mind of Jason Smilovic, creator of such great shows as Kidnapped and Karen Sisco.
#2: Fringe
J.J. Abrams created Alias. J.J. Abrams co-created Lost. He is a genius to many a fanboy. So it comes as no surprise that his newest television creation is high on my anticipation list. However, it barely misses the top spot. This is simply because the same shroud of secrecy that amps up the frenetic anticipation also results in some concern that the overwhelming buzz of this show may not be able to live up to its own expectations. (Especially since J.J. Abrams will be so busy with his Star Trek movie that he will not be able to oversee the day-to-day operations of this series.) Nonetheless, I am still very, very excited.
#3: Life On Mars
Much like the late lamented Journeyman, this show has a main character who is inexplicably sent back in time. Which is very favourable because I love time travel stories! Plus it has a plethora of famous actors. (Harvey Keitel, Michael Imperioli, Gretchen Mol, Lisa Bonet, and Colm Meaney) Admittedly, that doesn't guarantee the show will be good, but it does draw extra attention. So consider my attention drawn.
#4: The Ex-List
I think the reason I like the concept of this show so much is that it addresses the concept of "the road less traveled," similar to the movie Sliding Doors (though admittedly from a completely different perspective). However, I don't like the caveat that if she doesn't find her soul-mate in a year's time, she will be lonely forever. I think it implies that it is impossible for someone to be truly happy with their second best match in the whole world. (Or third best match, or fourth best...) Another concern of mine is simply that it is being partnered with Ghost Whisperer, which implies that it may be a little too female-friendly of a program (which ruined last season's Women's Murder Club). But if they can keep the estrogen down, I'll be interested in watching how it plays out.
#5: 90210
This update (not a remake, but rather a revisit) of the immensely popular Beverly Hills 90210 is being promoted for the Gossip Girl crowd. However, its title is clearly aimed at pulling in nostalgic older viewers. And since I was a solid Beverly Hills 90210 fan back in the day (imagine a group of teenage boys excitedly chatting away about the exploits of Brandon, Brenda, Kelly, Dylan, Steve, David, & Donna), I am certainly intrigued as to how they are going to make both older and younger viewers happy.
#6: Crusoe
Just like in real life, it all comes down to pirates. Daniel Defoe's book is being produced for television to be more reminiscent of the Pirates Of The Caribbean series. So while the premise remains generally the same, it will feature pirates and cannibals sooner and more predominantly. (Perhaps during Sweeps Week there will even be cannibal pirates!) Also look for Friday to show up much earlier as well. And although I am dubious of all the MacGuyverized inventions (yes, there is an elevator), I shan't mutiny prior to first viewing.
#7: Eleventh Hour
Every time I see or hear anything about this show, I can't help but think that it comes off as being a less supernatural version of X-Files, though I'm not entirely sure if that is an intentional parallel. Regardless, the fact that I perceive the similarity actually makes me more optimistic than I would otherwise be. Another bonus is that the female bodyguard is played by Marley Shelton, who recently grabbed my attention with her portrayal of Dr. Dakota Block in Grindhouse. Yum!
#8: Do Not Disturb
This is my most anticipated comedy of the new season. But the fact that my most anticipated comedy ranks down at number eight does not bode well for comedies in general this year. Specifically, this show rises to the upper middle solely because it is directed by Jason Bateman and features Jerry O'Connell. <http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/3f716ffebe> Unfortunately, it doesn't go any higher because its premise sounds extremely uninspired.
#9: Hole In The Wall
Okay, I am officially intrigued. This show – about contestants who try to contort their bodies in the same shape as an oncoming styrofoam wall in order to earn points and not get swept into a pool of water – looks utterly bizarre in the best possible way. I'm not sure if it will have long-lasting appeal, but I can't imagine not checking it out. It is severely weird!
#10: Gary Unmarried
This is another comedy that suffers from genericitis. The fact that it includes the talents of both Jay Mohr and Paula Marshall certainly raises my hopes for the show, but until I see how things actually play out, it's difficult to be excited.
#11: Valentine
As a kid, I always liked Greek mythology. Lucky for me, this show is about gods from Greek mythology. True, it's about Greek gods running around making love matches, which seems incredibly cheesy and lame, but it still manages to tap into my curiosity. How will Poseidon be depicted? How about Ares? Will the Minotaur show up with flowers and a box of chocolates? I have a feeling that how much I enjoy the show will ultimately be determined by how well they incorporate Greek mythology.
#12: America's Toughest Jobs
When I first heard of this show, I misunderstood the premise and thought that it was a documentary reality show, similar to In Harm's Way. Instead, it appears to be a reality game show where contestants must compete by working in various dangerous professions, such as bull fighting and working on a bridge crew. How will ordinary people do in these high-pressure, high-risk jobs? I'm a little interested in finding out.
#13: The Mentalist
You may have thought that this show – being very similar-sounding to the incredibly funny Psych – would rank higher on my expectation list than unlucky thirteen. And it would have if I had not learned about an extra layer to the show: Patrick Jane is emotionally haunted because, back when we was hunting criminals as a (fake) psychic, his family was murdered by a serial killer he had been tracking at the time. I literally groaned out loud when I discovered this "twist" because it is such a played out plot point. True, they pulled it off exceptionally well in The Profiler, but it is usually a desperate device used to artificially increase the intensity of a show.
#14: Opportunity Knocks
It's a gameshow that comes to you. Really, that's pretty much the entire the hook. Yeah, its questions are based on the lives of contestants, but viewers don't truly care about the lives of others unless they are exciting. In fact, over time I imagine that the show will probably start emphasizing how interesting the contestants are. (It's the biker family! It's the spy family! It's the witness protection program family!) So although I'm intrigued by the gimmick, they're going to have to work very hard to keep me invested.
#15: Surviving Suburbia
This looks absolutely abysmal. It has got to be the worst comedy this year by a long shot. So why is it this high on the list? Because when I saw Bob Saget talking about his own starring vehicle, he came across like even he knew how dreadful it was. So I'm going to be checking it out and eagerly scrutinizing Mr. Saget for signs of subtle mockery for the very show that I am watching.
#16: Stylista
In essence, this show is The Devil Wears Prada meets The Apprentice. The tone seems so negative and venomous that I simply cannot imagine enjoying it. But one never knows. I wasn't expecting to be a fan of Project Runway either (which I was for three seasons), so perhaps it will surprise me. But boy does it have an uphill battle ahead of it.
#17: Kath & Kim
Professionally speaking, I have never liked Molly Shannon. She is just so darn *SHRILL*. Because of this one fact, the more I thought of this looming show, the less I looked forward to it. In fact, the only reason that this isn't nearer/at the bottom is the fact that it also stars Selma Blair, who I truly do like. Unfortunately, her character sounds reprehensible. Hence, I feel like I am going to the gallows on this one.
#18: Worst Week
Meet The Parents was an enjoyable, if somewhat forgettable movie. (Although I admit that it had its moments.) What it did not need was a sequel. Sadly, that is exactly what it got. And it was dreadful. And now it seems that it has also spawned an (unofficial) television series. So if Ben Stiller couldn't pull off another go-around, who is Kyle Bornheimer to think that he can succeed where Derek Zoolander failed?
#19: Privileged
Many viewers want to watch spoiled über-rich brats act extremely spoiley. I am not one of them. The world of the bitchy and powerful does not appeal to me, unless they end up twitching on the end of a katana. Nonetheless, I will soldier on and suffer through the chaos. Truly, I do this for you, dear reader. Even *I* am not that anal-retentive!
#20: In Harm's Way
What is less exciting than a horrid, self-absorbed dramatic television show about stuck-up rich kids? How about a *boring* television show? That is what I fear this show will be. Yes, bicycle messengers may get run over each and every day. But I don't want to see bicycle messengers get almost (or actually) run over. Maybe host Hunter Ellis (from Survivor) can raise the interest level. And then again, maybe not.
#21: Easy Money
The only thing that could be worse than a dreadful show or a boring show is a show that looks to be both boring and dreadful. The only glimmer that I could eke out is the fact that Laurie Metcalf is in this series. But rather than being hopeful about that fact, it just makes me sad that she has somehow wound up on the very worst show of a struggling little network. It would surprise no one more than me if I actually watched even one episode of this series. Truly, it just looks like dreck.
#22: Knight Rider
Surely this show cannot be at the bottom of this list! It's got a cool transformable car, an attractive cast, and a bit of 80s nostalgia to boot. That can't be all bad, can it? In truth, the answer is... no, I don't think it will be the worst show of the season. In actuality, this show lands at the bottom of my anticipation list more on a technicality than anything else. Simply put, I have already seen the show (in the form of the made-for-television movie/backdoor pilot which already aired in February of this year) so I have literally no anticipation. (And by the way, the movie was not at all good.)
And now you know everything you wanted to know about all of the new fall primetime network television shows. Next time I will be reviewing actual episodes of some of these shows, as they are finally starting to trickle out.
Cheers!
-TTVB-
28 August 2008
Fall Season 2008 (schedule)
As promised, here is the Fall premiere schedule:
Already On
America's Toughest Jobs (premiered August 25th)
Deal or No Deal (premiered August 25th)
Dateline NBC (premiered in 1903)
September 1st
Gossip Girl
One Tree Hill
Prison Break
September 2nd
90210
September 3rd
America's Next Top Model
Bones
September 4th
Kitchen Nightmares
September 5th
Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?
September 6th
America's Most Wanted
COPS
September 8th
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
September 9th
Fringe
Privileged
September 10th
Do Not Disturb
'Til Death
September 11th
Hole in the Wall*
September 12th
Don't Forget the Lyrics
September 16th
House
The Biggest Loser
September 18th
Smallville
Supernatural
September 19th
20/20
September 21st
Easy Money
In Harm's Way
Valentine
September 22nd
Boston Legal
CSI: Miami
Dancing with the Stars
Heroes
How I Met Your Mother
The Big Bang Theory
Two and a Half Men
Worst Week
September 23rd
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
NCIS
Opportunity Knocks
The Mentalist
Without a Trace
September 24th
Criminal Minds
CSI: NY
Gary Unmarried
Knight Rider
Lipstick Jungle
The New Adventures of Old Christine
September 25th
ER
Grey's Anatomy
My Name Is Earl
Survivor: Gabon
The Office
Ugly Betty
September 27th
48 Hours Mystery
September 28th
60 Minutes
American Dad!
Brothers & Sisters
Cold Case
Desperate Housewives
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
Family Guy
King of the Hill
The Amazing Race
The Simpsons
The Unit
September 29th
Chuck
October 1st
Dirty Sexy Money
Private Practice
Pushing Daisies
October 3rd
Everybody Hates Chris
Ghost Whisperer
Life
Numb3rs
Supernanny
The Ex-List
The Game
Wife Swap
October 5th
America's Funniest Home Videos
October 6th
Samantha Who?
October 9th
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Eleventh Hour
Kath & Kim
Life On Mars
October 13th
My Own Worst Enemy
October 14th
Eli Stone
October 17th
Crusoe
October 22nd
Stylista
October 30th
30 Rock
November 7th
Surviving Suburbia
*An unnounced new show! It is another gameshow stolen from the Japanese, with contestants that basically use their bodies as human Tetris pieces.
-TTVB-
Already On
America's Toughest Jobs (premiered August 25th)
Deal or No Deal (premiered August 25th)
Dateline NBC (premiered in 1903)
September 1st
Gossip Girl
One Tree Hill
Prison Break
September 2nd
90210
September 3rd
America's Next Top Model
Bones
September 4th
Kitchen Nightmares
September 5th
Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?
September 6th
America's Most Wanted
COPS
September 8th
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
September 9th
Fringe
Privileged
September 10th
Do Not Disturb
'Til Death
September 11th
Hole in the Wall*
September 12th
Don't Forget the Lyrics
September 16th
House
The Biggest Loser
September 18th
Smallville
Supernatural
September 19th
20/20
September 21st
Easy Money
In Harm's Way
Valentine
September 22nd
Boston Legal
CSI: Miami
Dancing with the Stars
Heroes
How I Met Your Mother
The Big Bang Theory
Two and a Half Men
Worst Week
September 23rd
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
NCIS
Opportunity Knocks
The Mentalist
Without a Trace
September 24th
Criminal Minds
CSI: NY
Gary Unmarried
Knight Rider
Lipstick Jungle
The New Adventures of Old Christine
September 25th
ER
Grey's Anatomy
My Name Is Earl
Survivor: Gabon
The Office
Ugly Betty
September 27th
48 Hours Mystery
September 28th
60 Minutes
American Dad!
Brothers & Sisters
Cold Case
Desperate Housewives
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
Family Guy
King of the Hill
The Amazing Race
The Simpsons
The Unit
September 29th
Chuck
October 1st
Dirty Sexy Money
Private Practice
Pushing Daisies
October 3rd
Everybody Hates Chris
Ghost Whisperer
Life
Numb3rs
Supernanny
The Ex-List
The Game
Wife Swap
October 5th
America's Funniest Home Videos
October 6th
Samantha Who?
October 9th
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Eleventh Hour
Kath & Kim
Life On Mars
October 13th
My Own Worst Enemy
October 14th
Eli Stone
October 17th
Crusoe
October 22nd
Stylista
October 30th
30 Rock
November 7th
Surviving Suburbia
*An unnounced new show! It is another gameshow stolen from the Japanese, with contestants that basically use their bodies as human Tetris pieces.
-TTVB-
27 August 2008
2008 Upfronts (part seven)
Since the new television season is right around the corner, this will be my last official "2008 Upfronts" blog. Fortunately for you, it will immediately be replaced by my "Fall Season 2008" blog series.
Note that I have a "Look Familiar?" section for each show that has any predominant actors in it. I know how a personal favourite can make a viewer tune into a show that they might not normally watch. Otherwise one might miss the brilliance of a Burn Notice or a Townies.
So here they are in all their miserable glory, sorted by the day of the week that they air for your convenience:
SUNDAY
In Harm's Way (The CW/Media Rights Capital)
An hour-long reality show that focuses on the lives of people doing various dangerous jobs, including war photographers, oil well cappers, Coast Guard divers, and minesweepers.
(Sort of like America's Toughest Jobs on NBC only on a network that you'll never find.)
Surviving Suburbia (The CW/Media Rights Capital)
A half-hour comedy that focuses on a grumpy blue-collar worker, Keith Stevers, his wife Anne, and their two children, Henry and Courtney. Everything seems normal for the Steverses until new next-door neighbors cause several problems, turning their suburban lifestyle upside-down.
(Apparently one of the "problems" is that the new 17 year old girl next door makes Keith's pants feel a little tight. Eww.)
Look Familiar?: Bob Saget
Valentine (The CW/Media Rights Capital)
A romantic dramedy about Greek deities – Aphrodite; Eros; Hercules; and Phoebe, seer of the Oracle of Delphi – who live amongst humans, bringing soulmates together while keeping their true identities a secret.
(So that the Christians don't stone them to death, I suppose.)
Easy Money (The CW/Media Rights Capital)
A dramedy which follows 28-year-old Morgan Buffkin, who suddenly finds himself in charge of Prestige Payday Loans, his eccentric family's enormously successful short-term loan sharking business. Any doubts Morgan has about running his family's business take back seat to the problems he has dealing with his family.
(Apparently if you like Dirty Sexy Money, you can watch the reruns on The CW. Get it? Because this show is just like that one? Oh nevermind.)
Look Familiar?: Judge Reinhold, Laurie Metcalf
MONDAY
Worst Week (CBS)
A sitcom about a soon-to-be married couple who go on a family holiday with their in-laws for a week. Over the course of the week, the groom keeps getting into all kinds of unexplainable embarrassment, causing his in-laws to hate him.
(Yes, this is a Meet The Parents rip-off. Were you really expecting something original? You do know there was a writer's strike, right?)
Look Familiar?: Kurtwood Smith
My Own Worst Enemy (NBC)
Henry Spivey is a middle-class efficiency expert living a humdrum life in the suburbs with a wife, two kids, a dog, and a minivan. Edward Albright is a secret operative who speaks thirteen languages, runs a four-minute mile, and is trained to kill. Henry and Edward are polar opposites who share only one thing in common – the same body. When the carefully constructed wall between them breaks down, Henry and Edward are thrust into unfamiliar territory where each man is dangerously out of his element.
(This show features one of my beloved Twin Peaks Girls so I am not picking it apart. (At least not today.))
Look Familiar?: Christian Slater, Mädchen Amick, Alfre Woodard
TUESDAY
Opportunity Knocks (ABC)
A game show that comes to contestants' houses and sets up show on their front yard. Then, in front of neighbors and friends, they are asked trivia questions about their own lives, in an attempt to win hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash and prizes.
(In other words it is a traveling version of Amne$ia, the defunct Dennis Miller game show.)
The Mentalist (CBS)
A police drama about Patrick Jane, an independent consultant with the California Bureau of Investigation, who has a remarkable track record for solving serious crimes by using his razor sharp skills of observation. Notorious for his blatant lack of protocol and his semi-celebrity past as a fake psychic medium, his role in cracking tough high-profile cases is greatly valued by his fellow agents.
(If you enjoy laughing out loud, watch Psych, which airs Fridays at 10:00pm on the USA Network. (Thanks Bill!) It's basically the same show as this one, only funny. If however you don't enjoy laughter, feel free to watch this show instead.)
90210 (The CW)
A teen drama which looks at life through the eyes of Annie Wilson and her adopted brother Dixon Wilson, whose first day at West Beverly Hills High School leaves no doubt that they're not in Kansas anymore. Annie and Dixon have a close sibling relationship, which they'll need to help them cope with all the new cliques and classmates. Further fueling their awkwardness is the fact that their dad is the new high school principal.
(Maybe during sweeps we will find out why it was necessary for Dixon to be adopted. Eww.)
Look Familiar?: Jennie Garth, Shannen Doherty, Lori Loughlin
Privileged (The CW)
A drama set in Palm Beach's world of wealth and power, about the new tutor of a cosmetics mogul's twin teen granddaughters. The teen girls are beautiful, rebellious, and less-than-thrilled with their new tutor, who is nonetheless determined to win them over as she enjoys the perks of her new job – a breathtaking private suite, gorgeous convertible, and live-in chef Marco.
(Look, if you are still reading this instead of camping yourself out in front of your television waiting desperately for this show to premiere, you are not likely to watch it.)
Look Familiar?: Debi Mazar
Fringe (Fox)
A dramatic science-fiction series that deals with a research scientist, his son, and a female FBI agent. This show from Lost co-creator J.J. Abrams follows the FBI probe of the mysterious deaths aboard an airplane that landed at Boston's Logan Airport. But the deaths aboard Flight 627 are only the beginning of the story, which will have an overarching mythology.
(Look, if you are still reading this instead of camping yourself out in front of your television waiting desperately for this show to premiere, you are a fool.)
Look Familiar?: Mark Valley, Joshua Jackson
WEDNESDAY
Gary Unmarried [previously known as Project Gary] (CBS)
A sitcom about a charming divorced father who shares custody of his two children with his ex-wife. His discovery that his ex has become engaged to their marriage counselor forces him to move on and he eventually connects with a gorgeous single mother whose condo he was hired to paint.
(I'm contractually obligated to write something about each of these shows, but this one is simply so generic sounding that I've got nothing. Move along.)
Look Familiar?: Jay Mohr, Paula Marshall, Larry Miller
Stylista (The CW)
A fashion-themed reality series, with people competing for a job at Elle Magazine by working as "assistants" to Anne Slowey, Elle's Fashion News Director. Slowey is the demanding but well-respected fashion icon who will be responsible for firing and ultimately hiring the winner.
(Would it really surprise anyone if I said that this is a cross between Project Runway and The Apprentice? Anyone?)
Do Not Disturb [Previously known as The Inn] (Fox)
A comedy series set at one of New York City's hottest and hippest hotels. It features a detail-oriented general manager who will do whatever it takes to keep the hotel up to his personal standards, a head of Human Resources who runs the department with a set of rules all her own, an aging model at the front desk, a naive bellman who was hired to show off his chiseled face, a reservations clerk who dreams of pop-singer stardom, and the head of housekeeping who spends more time on the phone cleaning up his messes at home than he does cleaning up after the guests upstairs.
(This show is trying so hard to be funny that it is *literally* hemorrhaging hijinks!)
Look Familiar?: Jerry O'Connell, Robert Wagner
Knight Rider (NBC)
Crime-fighting supercar KITT returns in Mustang form in this sequel to the 1982 TV series. Here, the jaded ex-army ranger son of Michael Knight teams up with the intelligent automobile in order to fight crime with the help of both his former girlfriend and his best friend.
(If you missed out on the made-for-television movie earlier this year, then I am sorry to report that you will now have too difficult of a time catching up on the intricate and subtle nuances of this show. If you did catch it, then I am even more sorry for you.)
Sound Familiar?: Val Kilmer's voice
THURSDAY
Life On Mars (ABC)
A modern police detective wakes from a coma to find himself working as a cop in 1973 New York. He is forced to learn a different moral code and fight crime without any hi-tech assistance, while clashing with his new boss and seeking a way back to his future.
(If Journeyman didn't make the cut, then what are the odds for this grittier version? Very, very long odds.)
Look Familiar?: Harvey Keitel, Michael Imperioli, Gretchen Mol, Lisa Bonet, Colm Meaney
Eleventh Hour (CBS)
A science-fiction drama which follows Dr. Jacob Hood, a brilliant biophysicist and special science advisor to the government, who is called in at the eleventh hour to investigate scientific crises and oddities. His jurisdiction is absolute and he is dogged in his pursuit to protect the substance of science from those with nefarious motives.
(Although no show this year quite earned the coveted Shasta McNasty Award, this one comes the closest. If only they had stayed with their original title: Saved From Scary Science Stuff At The Last Possible Minute.)
Kath & Kim (NBC)
A sitcom about a dysfunctional mother and daughter that live in a suburban community in Florida. Kath is the foxy forty-something divorcée mom who finally has some time for herself. Kim is the mid-twenties daughter that dresses like a child and is obsessed with celebrities. When Kim decides to move back home after separating from her husband, Kath reluctantly agrees but is not about to cater to Kim's every whim as she has in the past.
(Is every freaking American show this season stolen from somewhere else?!?!? Specifically, this one is ripped off from our old penal colony, Australia. Hopefully this version doesn't have any boomerangs in it because they give me the willies. Unnatural, those things are.)
Look Familiar?: Molly Shannon, Selma Blair, John Michael Higgins
FRIDAY
The Ex-List (CBS)
An hour-long dramedy that follows a single, successful business owner who learns from a psychic that she has already dated her soul mate. Further, if she doesn't find him in the next year, she will remain alone forever. So she decides to revisit her past relationships and analyze every failed romance with the help of her close circle of friends.
(As my wife deliciously pointed out, where is the end-game for this series? Or, as she more succinctly put it, what kind of ho-bag does this bird need to be for the series to keep going?)
Crusoe (NBC)
A new adventure drama based on the legendary novel by Daniel Defoe. This is the tale of Robinson Crusoe, who leaves his true love to embark on an adventure, only to end up shipwrecked on a remote tropical island for 28 years. His desire to return to his wife and his strong and unlikely friendship with Friday are the only things that keep him sane.
(What kind of moron leaves his true love to embark on an adventure? I hope she dumps his ass while he's stranded!)
Look Familiar?: Sam Neill, Sean Bean
SATURDAY
No, the blog didn't suddenly end. As usual, Saturday is a complete wasteland devoid of anything redeeming. (And, no, I don't count Night Rider reruns as redeeming, no matter how desperate or drunk you get.)
Tomorrow I'll post when each and every show is scheduled to premiere. Because I'm cool like that.
-TTVB-
Note that I have a "Look Familiar?" section for each show that has any predominant actors in it. I know how a personal favourite can make a viewer tune into a show that they might not normally watch. Otherwise one might miss the brilliance of a Burn Notice or a Townies.
So here they are in all their miserable glory, sorted by the day of the week that they air for your convenience:
SUNDAY
In Harm's Way (The CW/Media Rights Capital)
An hour-long reality show that focuses on the lives of people doing various dangerous jobs, including war photographers, oil well cappers, Coast Guard divers, and minesweepers.
(Sort of like America's Toughest Jobs on NBC only on a network that you'll never find.)
Surviving Suburbia (The CW/Media Rights Capital)
A half-hour comedy that focuses on a grumpy blue-collar worker, Keith Stevers, his wife Anne, and their two children, Henry and Courtney. Everything seems normal for the Steverses until new next-door neighbors cause several problems, turning their suburban lifestyle upside-down.
(Apparently one of the "problems" is that the new 17 year old girl next door makes Keith's pants feel a little tight. Eww.)
Look Familiar?: Bob Saget
Valentine (The CW/Media Rights Capital)
A romantic dramedy about Greek deities – Aphrodite; Eros; Hercules; and Phoebe, seer of the Oracle of Delphi – who live amongst humans, bringing soulmates together while keeping their true identities a secret.
(So that the Christians don't stone them to death, I suppose.)
Easy Money (The CW/Media Rights Capital)
A dramedy which follows 28-year-old Morgan Buffkin, who suddenly finds himself in charge of Prestige Payday Loans, his eccentric family's enormously successful short-term loan sharking business. Any doubts Morgan has about running his family's business take back seat to the problems he has dealing with his family.
(Apparently if you like Dirty Sexy Money, you can watch the reruns on The CW. Get it? Because this show is just like that one? Oh nevermind.)
Look Familiar?: Judge Reinhold, Laurie Metcalf
MONDAY
Worst Week (CBS)
A sitcom about a soon-to-be married couple who go on a family holiday with their in-laws for a week. Over the course of the week, the groom keeps getting into all kinds of unexplainable embarrassment, causing his in-laws to hate him.
(Yes, this is a Meet The Parents rip-off. Were you really expecting something original? You do know there was a writer's strike, right?)
Look Familiar?: Kurtwood Smith
My Own Worst Enemy (NBC)
Henry Spivey is a middle-class efficiency expert living a humdrum life in the suburbs with a wife, two kids, a dog, and a minivan. Edward Albright is a secret operative who speaks thirteen languages, runs a four-minute mile, and is trained to kill. Henry and Edward are polar opposites who share only one thing in common – the same body. When the carefully constructed wall between them breaks down, Henry and Edward are thrust into unfamiliar territory where each man is dangerously out of his element.
(This show features one of my beloved Twin Peaks Girls so I am not picking it apart. (At least not today.))
Look Familiar?: Christian Slater, Mädchen Amick, Alfre Woodard
TUESDAY
Opportunity Knocks (ABC)
A game show that comes to contestants' houses and sets up show on their front yard. Then, in front of neighbors and friends, they are asked trivia questions about their own lives, in an attempt to win hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash and prizes.
(In other words it is a traveling version of Amne$ia, the defunct Dennis Miller game show.)
The Mentalist (CBS)
A police drama about Patrick Jane, an independent consultant with the California Bureau of Investigation, who has a remarkable track record for solving serious crimes by using his razor sharp skills of observation. Notorious for his blatant lack of protocol and his semi-celebrity past as a fake psychic medium, his role in cracking tough high-profile cases is greatly valued by his fellow agents.
(If you enjoy laughing out loud, watch Psych, which airs Fridays at 10:00pm on the USA Network. (Thanks Bill!) It's basically the same show as this one, only funny. If however you don't enjoy laughter, feel free to watch this show instead.)
90210 (The CW)
A teen drama which looks at life through the eyes of Annie Wilson and her adopted brother Dixon Wilson, whose first day at West Beverly Hills High School leaves no doubt that they're not in Kansas anymore. Annie and Dixon have a close sibling relationship, which they'll need to help them cope with all the new cliques and classmates. Further fueling their awkwardness is the fact that their dad is the new high school principal.
(Maybe during sweeps we will find out why it was necessary for Dixon to be adopted. Eww.)
Look Familiar?: Jennie Garth, Shannen Doherty, Lori Loughlin
Privileged (The CW)
A drama set in Palm Beach's world of wealth and power, about the new tutor of a cosmetics mogul's twin teen granddaughters. The teen girls are beautiful, rebellious, and less-than-thrilled with their new tutor, who is nonetheless determined to win them over as she enjoys the perks of her new job – a breathtaking private suite, gorgeous convertible, and live-in chef Marco.
(Look, if you are still reading this instead of camping yourself out in front of your television waiting desperately for this show to premiere, you are not likely to watch it.)
Look Familiar?: Debi Mazar
Fringe (Fox)
A dramatic science-fiction series that deals with a research scientist, his son, and a female FBI agent. This show from Lost co-creator J.J. Abrams follows the FBI probe of the mysterious deaths aboard an airplane that landed at Boston's Logan Airport. But the deaths aboard Flight 627 are only the beginning of the story, which will have an overarching mythology.
(Look, if you are still reading this instead of camping yourself out in front of your television waiting desperately for this show to premiere, you are a fool.)
Look Familiar?: Mark Valley, Joshua Jackson
WEDNESDAY
Gary Unmarried [previously known as Project Gary] (CBS)
A sitcom about a charming divorced father who shares custody of his two children with his ex-wife. His discovery that his ex has become engaged to their marriage counselor forces him to move on and he eventually connects with a gorgeous single mother whose condo he was hired to paint.
(I'm contractually obligated to write something about each of these shows, but this one is simply so generic sounding that I've got nothing. Move along.)
Look Familiar?: Jay Mohr, Paula Marshall, Larry Miller
Stylista (The CW)
A fashion-themed reality series, with people competing for a job at Elle Magazine by working as "assistants" to Anne Slowey, Elle's Fashion News Director. Slowey is the demanding but well-respected fashion icon who will be responsible for firing and ultimately hiring the winner.
(Would it really surprise anyone if I said that this is a cross between Project Runway and The Apprentice? Anyone?)
Do Not Disturb [Previously known as The Inn] (Fox)
A comedy series set at one of New York City's hottest and hippest hotels. It features a detail-oriented general manager who will do whatever it takes to keep the hotel up to his personal standards, a head of Human Resources who runs the department with a set of rules all her own, an aging model at the front desk, a naive bellman who was hired to show off his chiseled face, a reservations clerk who dreams of pop-singer stardom, and the head of housekeeping who spends more time on the phone cleaning up his messes at home than he does cleaning up after the guests upstairs.
(This show is trying so hard to be funny that it is *literally* hemorrhaging hijinks!)
Look Familiar?: Jerry O'Connell, Robert Wagner
Knight Rider (NBC)
Crime-fighting supercar KITT returns in Mustang form in this sequel to the 1982 TV series. Here, the jaded ex-army ranger son of Michael Knight teams up with the intelligent automobile in order to fight crime with the help of both his former girlfriend and his best friend.
(If you missed out on the made-for-television movie earlier this year, then I am sorry to report that you will now have too difficult of a time catching up on the intricate and subtle nuances of this show. If you did catch it, then I am even more sorry for you.)
Sound Familiar?: Val Kilmer's voice
THURSDAY
Life On Mars (ABC)
A modern police detective wakes from a coma to find himself working as a cop in 1973 New York. He is forced to learn a different moral code and fight crime without any hi-tech assistance, while clashing with his new boss and seeking a way back to his future.
(If Journeyman didn't make the cut, then what are the odds for this grittier version? Very, very long odds.)
Look Familiar?: Harvey Keitel, Michael Imperioli, Gretchen Mol, Lisa Bonet, Colm Meaney
Eleventh Hour (CBS)
A science-fiction drama which follows Dr. Jacob Hood, a brilliant biophysicist and special science advisor to the government, who is called in at the eleventh hour to investigate scientific crises and oddities. His jurisdiction is absolute and he is dogged in his pursuit to protect the substance of science from those with nefarious motives.
(Although no show this year quite earned the coveted Shasta McNasty Award, this one comes the closest. If only they had stayed with their original title: Saved From Scary Science Stuff At The Last Possible Minute.)
Kath & Kim (NBC)
A sitcom about a dysfunctional mother and daughter that live in a suburban community in Florida. Kath is the foxy forty-something divorcée mom who finally has some time for herself. Kim is the mid-twenties daughter that dresses like a child and is obsessed with celebrities. When Kim decides to move back home after separating from her husband, Kath reluctantly agrees but is not about to cater to Kim's every whim as she has in the past.
(Is every freaking American show this season stolen from somewhere else?!?!? Specifically, this one is ripped off from our old penal colony, Australia. Hopefully this version doesn't have any boomerangs in it because they give me the willies. Unnatural, those things are.)
Look Familiar?: Molly Shannon, Selma Blair, John Michael Higgins
FRIDAY
The Ex-List (CBS)
An hour-long dramedy that follows a single, successful business owner who learns from a psychic that she has already dated her soul mate. Further, if she doesn't find him in the next year, she will remain alone forever. So she decides to revisit her past relationships and analyze every failed romance with the help of her close circle of friends.
(As my wife deliciously pointed out, where is the end-game for this series? Or, as she more succinctly put it, what kind of ho-bag does this bird need to be for the series to keep going?)
Crusoe (NBC)
A new adventure drama based on the legendary novel by Daniel Defoe. This is the tale of Robinson Crusoe, who leaves his true love to embark on an adventure, only to end up shipwrecked on a remote tropical island for 28 years. His desire to return to his wife and his strong and unlikely friendship with Friday are the only things that keep him sane.
(What kind of moron leaves his true love to embark on an adventure? I hope she dumps his ass while he's stranded!)
Look Familiar?: Sam Neill, Sean Bean
SATURDAY
No, the blog didn't suddenly end. As usual, Saturday is a complete wasteland devoid of anything redeeming. (And, no, I don't count Night Rider reruns as redeeming, no matter how desperate or drunk you get.)
Tomorrow I'll post when each and every show is scheduled to premiere. Because I'm cool like that.
-TTVB-
05 August 2008
2008 Upfronts (part six)
Now let us take a moment to move our attention from the television shows that have been pushed onto a breakaway iceberg so that they float out to their painfully cruel death, and instead focus on the ones that are still dancing with the penguins. (How's that for a shabby – and Zoologically inaccurate – metaphor?)
Here is the full list in alphabetical order. (WARNING: It's painfully long.)
20/20
24
30 Rock
48 Hours Mystery
60 Minutes
According to Jim
American Dad!
American Gladiators
American Idol
America's Funniest Home Videos
America's Most Wanted
America's Next Top Model
Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?
Bones
Boston Legal
Brothers & Sisters
Chuck
Cold Case
COPS
Crimetime Saturday
Criminal Minds
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
CSI: Miami
CSI: NY
Dancing with the Stars
Dateline NBC
Deal or No Deal
Desperate Housewives
Dirty Sexy Money
Don't Forget the Lyrics
Eli Stone
ER
Everybody Hates Chris
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
Family Guy
Friday Night Lights
Ghost Whisperer
Gossip Girl
Grey's Anatomy
Hell's Kitchen
Heroes
House
How I Met Your Mother
King of the Hill
Kitchen Nightmares
Law & Order
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Life
Lipstick Jungle
Lost
Medium
Million Dollar Password
My Name Is Earl
NBC Sunday Night Football
NCIS
Numb3rs
One Tree Hill
Primetime
Prison Break
Private Practice
Pushing Daisies
Reaper
Rules of Engagement
Samantha Who?
Scrubs (Now on ABC!)
Smallville
So You Think You Can Dance
Supernanny
Supernatural
Survivor
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
The Amazing Race
The Bachelor
The Big Bang Theory
The Biggest Loser
The Celebrity Apprentice
The Game
The Moment of Truth
The New Adventures of Old Christine
The Office
The Simpsons
The Unit
'Til Death
Two and a Half Men
Ugly Betty
Wife Swap
Without a Trace
(You'll notice that anything that starts with "The" is sorted under T. Don't blame me – blame the creators that felt that the "The" was necessary. I bow to their creative choices.)
So everyone has the shows that they hate and the shows that they love. No doubt you'll see both in the above listing. If I've learned anything doing this year-in and year-out, it is that every show has fans that think it is the best thing out there. Of course they are miserably wrong, but let's just let them live in their barking mad world, okay?
So let's talk about the best shows. You know, the one's that I watch.
Heroes
The first season was flawless... until the creators fell painfully flat on their face in the twenty-third hour. Season two was scattershot at best. So if Kring & Co. don't produce a nearly perfect third season, this show may never see a fourth year.
How I Met Your Mother
If you are not watching this show than you are depriving yourself of the funniest show on television. Simply stated, simply true.
Life
I love Life. It's not as cloyingly quirky as Monk has become and it has a hidden darkness buried beneath the humour. Not to mention a brilliant (ongoing and weekly) mystery.
Lost
The show that always manages to alienate its viewers by pushing the premise simply too far. And then bring them back by pushing it even farther.
My Name Is Earl
Jason Lee is just awesome. But the fact that this show was renewed yet again (after the most dreadful season yet) was simply too much. Delete! (Sometimes you have to walk away from a show and just pray that the actors you love find something more worthy of them.)
Reaper
It started out great, got stale, and then breathed life once more. On the fence, this one is. But I'll be there to see which way it tips.
Rules of Engagement
Patrick Warburton and Megyn Price elevate this average sitcom into something that's funny. A lot funny.
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
I was really starting to tire of the show's formula until Brian Austin Green arrived to give it some kick-ass heart.
The Amazing Race
Still the best reality show out there. If you don't love it, it's only because you haven't watched it. YES, it really is *that* good.
If you are still waiting for me to mention your favourite show, I have news for you: As good as your favourite show is, each and every one of the above is even better. (Well, except for My Name Is Earl, but hopefully that will get cancelled soon. And then maybe Jason Lee will join your favourite show and it will finally be good enough for me to watch.)
And now that we have that bit of squeak out of the way, next blog let's move on to the new shows. Because without my guidance, you'll just end up watching something ordinary instead of something awesome.
Here is the full list in alphabetical order. (WARNING: It's painfully long.)
20/20
24
30 Rock
48 Hours Mystery
60 Minutes
According to Jim
American Dad!
American Gladiators
American Idol
America's Funniest Home Videos
America's Most Wanted
America's Next Top Model
Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?
Bones
Boston Legal
Brothers & Sisters
Chuck
Cold Case
COPS
Crimetime Saturday
Criminal Minds
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
CSI: Miami
CSI: NY
Dancing with the Stars
Dateline NBC
Deal or No Deal
Desperate Housewives
Dirty Sexy Money
Don't Forget the Lyrics
Eli Stone
ER
Everybody Hates Chris
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
Family Guy
Friday Night Lights
Ghost Whisperer
Gossip Girl
Grey's Anatomy
Hell's Kitchen
Heroes
House
How I Met Your Mother
King of the Hill
Kitchen Nightmares
Law & Order
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Life
Lipstick Jungle
Lost
Medium
Million Dollar Password
My Name Is Earl
NBC Sunday Night Football
NCIS
Numb3rs
One Tree Hill
Primetime
Prison Break
Private Practice
Pushing Daisies
Reaper
Rules of Engagement
Samantha Who?
Scrubs (Now on ABC!)
Smallville
So You Think You Can Dance
Supernanny
Supernatural
Survivor
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
The Amazing Race
The Bachelor
The Big Bang Theory
The Biggest Loser
The Celebrity Apprentice
The Game
The Moment of Truth
The New Adventures of Old Christine
The Office
The Simpsons
The Unit
'Til Death
Two and a Half Men
Ugly Betty
Wife Swap
Without a Trace
(You'll notice that anything that starts with "The" is sorted under T. Don't blame me – blame the creators that felt that the "The" was necessary. I bow to their creative choices.)
So everyone has the shows that they hate and the shows that they love. No doubt you'll see both in the above listing. If I've learned anything doing this year-in and year-out, it is that every show has fans that think it is the best thing out there. Of course they are miserably wrong, but let's just let them live in their barking mad world, okay?
So let's talk about the best shows. You know, the one's that I watch.
Heroes
The first season was flawless... until the creators fell painfully flat on their face in the twenty-third hour. Season two was scattershot at best. So if Kring & Co. don't produce a nearly perfect third season, this show may never see a fourth year.
How I Met Your Mother
If you are not watching this show than you are depriving yourself of the funniest show on television. Simply stated, simply true.
Life
I love Life. It's not as cloyingly quirky as Monk has become and it has a hidden darkness buried beneath the humour. Not to mention a brilliant (ongoing and weekly) mystery.
Lost
The show that always manages to alienate its viewers by pushing the premise simply too far. And then bring them back by pushing it even farther.
My Name Is Earl
Jason Lee is just awesome. But the fact that this show was renewed yet again (after the most dreadful season yet) was simply too much. Delete! (Sometimes you have to walk away from a show and just pray that the actors you love find something more worthy of them.)
Reaper
It started out great, got stale, and then breathed life once more. On the fence, this one is. But I'll be there to see which way it tips.
Rules of Engagement
Patrick Warburton and Megyn Price elevate this average sitcom into something that's funny. A lot funny.
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
I was really starting to tire of the show's formula until Brian Austin Green arrived to give it some kick-ass heart.
The Amazing Race
Still the best reality show out there. If you don't love it, it's only because you haven't watched it. YES, it really is *that* good.
If you are still waiting for me to mention your favourite show, I have news for you: As good as your favourite show is, each and every one of the above is even better. (Well, except for My Name Is Earl, but hopefully that will get cancelled soon. And then maybe Jason Lee will join your favourite show and it will finally be good enough for me to watch.)
And now that we have that bit of squeak out of the way, next blog let's move on to the new shows. Because without my guidance, you'll just end up watching something ordinary instead of something awesome.
Suit up!
-TTVB-
12 June 2008
2008 Upfronts (part five)
You may have noticed that I have been standing here staring at The CW abyss for twenty-seven days. If it were entirely up to me, I suppose that it would be even longer. However, my shrink says that I need to either tackle this fear or give up television forever.
Abandon my telly? NEVER!
So let us now see which shows were so dreadful that even The CW sent them to visit the reaper:
Aliens in America
Beauty and the Geek
Crowned: The Mother of All Pageants
CW Now
Farmer Wants a Wife
Girlfriends
Life Is Wild
Online Nation
Pussycat Dolls Present
WWE Friday Night SmackDown
Yeah. That makes sense.
(Of course, if they dumped all their shows, that would make sense too.)
Shockingly, MyNetworkTV – an even more obscure network than The CW – is picking up WWE Friday Night SmackDown (which wrestled with poor ratings in key demographics), whereas Beauty and the Geek (which doesn't exactly hang with the popular crowd) is being picked up by... no one.
Most interesting, though, was that of all the networks, The CW had the fewest returning shows. This seems to be a result of their effort to reinvent themselves (yet again), setting their sights squarely on the Generation Y crowd.
Speaking of targeting viewers, soon we will be visiting all the newly announced network shows, with me spilling my initial thoughts of these unaired network gambits. But before I do that, I first want to discuss returning shows. Next blog. Right here.
-TTVB-
Abandon my telly? NEVER!
So let us now see which shows were so dreadful that even The CW sent them to visit the reaper:
Aliens in America
Beauty and the Geek
Crowned: The Mother of All Pageants
CW Now
Farmer Wants a Wife
Girlfriends
Life Is Wild
Online Nation
Pussycat Dolls Present
WWE Friday Night SmackDown
Yeah. That makes sense.
(Of course, if they dumped all their shows, that would make sense too.)
Shockingly, MyNetworkTV – an even more obscure network than The CW – is picking up WWE Friday Night SmackDown (which wrestled with poor ratings in key demographics), whereas Beauty and the Geek (which doesn't exactly hang with the popular crowd) is being picked up by... no one.
Most interesting, though, was that of all the networks, The CW had the fewest returning shows. This seems to be a result of their effort to reinvent themselves (yet again), setting their sights squarely on the Generation Y crowd.
Speaking of targeting viewers, soon we will be visiting all the newly announced network shows, with me spilling my initial thoughts of these unaired network gambits. But before I do that, I first want to discuss returning shows. Next blog. Right here.
-TTVB-
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